Argh... getting thru the weekends??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2006
Argh... getting thru the weekends??
5
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 2:58am

I've read several other posts where people mention that the weekends are the toughest. This is definitely true for me. This has been the fourth weekend, and it seems worse than the previous two! I think it's because we've been broken up longer now, and the possibility that he'll find someone with each passing week grows. I just feel crappy right now. What do you guys do to get through? Any helpful advice?

Another thing... someone else mentioned that they would love to take a pill and 24 hours later, be completely over the ex. Reminds me of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" where two people erase the other from their memories so they don't have to deal with the pain of their break-up. Maybe I'll watch that again tonight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 9:46am

Yes, weekends do suck. I live alone and don't have much family I'm close to. I have one really good friend I can talk to, but she is not always available when I need to talk. It is sometimes hard to find the motivation to do things when your bogged down by pain and loneliness, but getting moving is the key. I make a list on Friday night of things I need to do over the weekend and always include something social, whether its calling someone or going to see someone. Staying busy is crucial to getting through the weekends. I have also chatted with some men online, but don't feel ready to meet anyone in person yet. I hope that soon I will feel ready to do that, but in the meantime, the chatting is a distraction.

I read that post about the pill and also thought about that movie. But I also thought about the Garth Brooks song "The Dance". I don't know all the lyrics, but one part says "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance". As painful as a breakup is, I wouldn't want to totally forget him and what he meant to me, as well as what I learned from the relationship.

Hang in there--it will get better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 12:03pm

Weekends are definatly the toughest. I would sit and think about him partying and having so much fun without me and such. I would take sleeping medicine so I could go to sleep around 6, not having to deal with the racing thoughts. Maybe you could have a girl's night one night? Have the rule be that you can't think about your ex because this is your one free night to get away from your troubles. You and your friends can just be girls and have fun. Another thing that might help is to focus in on the negative of the relationship. There has to be some things you didn't like about him or the relationship. I made a list of why I am glad I am not with him. It helps. It may be too soon for you but I like to watch movies that make me think "I want a guy like that." Just keep your mind busy but if you do think of him think of the bad things and don't focus on what you have lost. Think about what you are gaining.

Best wishes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 5:30pm

Make a routine for your weekend. Are you within walking distance of anything you need to do (like an errand) - like the cleaners - put your clothes in a bag and walk to the cleaners. Need to mail a bill, walk to the post office or nearest mailbox. Looking for a new book, walk to the store or the Library and check it out. Drive to the bookstore and look up some great titles.

Make cookies or banana nut bread to take in to work with you on Monday.

Take a bubble bath.

Make popcorn and watch a good movie.
Go to the local theater and catch a new movie, yes alone if need be.

Do volunteer work at a soup kitchen or something for kids or retirement home.

Babysit a friend's kids so she can go shopping for her household (Christmas or otherwise).

If you know someone having a holiday party, volunteer to go early and set up and stay late to help clean up.

Reading material for now:

Rebuilding When a Relationship Ends, Bruce Fisher

Olive Juice...and Other Thoughts on Love, Heartbreak and Moving Forward by Eric Champnella

I Used to Miss Him...But My Aim is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide by Alison James

Reading material for your future life:

Two Dates or Less: How to Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing by Neil Clark Warren

Get Smart with Your Heart: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to Love, Lust, and Lasting Relationships by Suzanne Lopez

Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman

Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis

The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 6:59pm

Thanks for the replies. I guess I'll go run some errands this afternoon. Spent most of the earlier part just driving around aimlessly. Luckily it was a beautiful day, which lifted my spirts.

I'll also check out some of those books.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:39pm
You seem very knowledable. I was wondering if you had a chance if you could read my message entitled "GOSH" (I was frustrated when I wrote the title lol). I understand if you are busy,(after all it is the holidays) but it would mean much to me if you could give me your opinion. Thanks!