Back on again

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Back on again
1
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 6:17pm

Okay, the break up didn't actually happen. We had a very long talk today and mutually decided to stay together. I love him, what can I say. For all his annoying habits and everything else, I love him.

My main concern was how he acted towards my children, and we talked about that more than anything else. He told me that he kept himself distant from them because he didn't want them to resent his intrusion. I hope he is being truthful, and I think he is. I told him that he is the adult and has to take the steps to become a part of their lives, it is not up to them to make the first move. I talked to my kids about this after school today, and my 9 year old seems happy with our decision. My 6 year old didn't have much to say, but he never does. I asked them both how they felt about it, and they said they were good with it, so we'll see in time.

I also told him that I wanted more from our relationship. More emotional committment. He was surprised because this is a change for me. I wanted to keep things simple, until recently. I asked him if he loved me enough to try and make these changes for us, and tears ran down his face and he told me that he didn't want to lose me, or the boys. I did not expect this strong of a response from him. I underestimated his feelings. Or maybe I expected him to react like my ex-husband, I don't know. I do know I was very moved and shook up by it.

Right now I feel almost as bad as I did when I was thinking about breaking it off. Am I that dense that I couldn't see this part of him, or did I just assume he would rather be rid of me than to become closer to my kids, and me? Why does life have to be so difficult at times?

One last note: thank-you to everyone who responded to my previous posting! Without your kind, and tough, words I probably would have just called it off without telling him what I wanted from him and our relationship. I may still regret my decision one day, but then again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: shaumarie
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 5:59pm
Congratulations!!
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