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|Wed, 12-05-2012 - 8:29pm|
I have not been to this forum in quite a while and truly need to get your thoughts...
In summary, I just got out of a two and a half year relationship that ended 5 months ago. I lived w/ my ex in his family's house for eight months. I moved out because he told me that we were done, he was not in love with the last months of our relationship and that he did not want to live together.
I was not comfortable living at his family's house and would have preferred for us to have our own place, which he was not ready for. The last few months of our relationship were unpleasant for me because he would not come home until 10p/11p after being with his friends. In addition, he would go out about two days a week and come back anywhere from 5a-6a. I would be livid because he would always make an excuse about not answering his phone while he was out, etc. He had cheated on me over a year ago and I made the decision to take him back. When he would be out late, my mind wandered and I believed that he was cheating again. We did have some great times together and I wanted to build a life with him. However, the infidelity and the lies seemed to overpower any good times we had.
Now, a few months later, he wants to work things out again. I feel that as nice as it sounds, I don't see how we can have a future since he cannot promise that he won't cheat. He tells me that he loves me, respects me, wants to spend his life with me, but that there is still a possibility that another woman will catch his eye. He is bothered by the fact that I can't overlook that while he works on being faithful.
We argue constantly because he will say great things and do something different. I love him, but I also feel that I need to value myself to come to a decision. Even when he would return home in the middle of the night, or the next morning; I could not bring myself to say that I was leaving. I stayed. So when he said he didn't want to live together, I left.
It boggles my mind to think that he had me all of that time and now he wants me back, yet he still tells me I make him mad and that I ask the wrong questions since I don't trust him.
Any suggestions on how to handle this?