back here again--still think about him

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2009
back here again--still think about him
1
Sun, 07-31-2011 - 2:37pm

Lately, I have been missing and hoping again....after two years since him breaking up with me....it is my fault. i kept in contact with him all along....if u read the previous posts by me...you would know my situation...i have no where to turn to except here to share my feelings. my close friends and family are starting to get tired of me talking about my situation...and sometimes i feel better when i share my feelings anonymously...i am currently looking for a job. and just too much free time on hand. been thinking about him more often...and a lot of what if's keep running through my head...part of the things i keep thinking about are related to my school/career situation..but he makes a big part of my life-as he is connected with everything related to school and work...this feeling is killing me...i think about him every night...anyone have remedy for my situation?? =/...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Sun, 07-31-2011 - 11:00pm

I know how you feel my dear. My ex and I have been broken up for almost 2 years now and I do still think of him. I go through phases though of not thinking of him. It's really whenever we talk again that my feelings come back again and I find myself hoping. So really the only way to remedy this is to just avoid any contact with him whatsoever. I know it may seem difficult to completely separate yourself from him b/c you think you need to be in contact with him for work or school but in actuality you're making excuses. Believe me I have done this before. Made up excuses to not stop talking to him. I remember I made an excuse once b/c I needed his help when I was still in college for an assignment I was working on. But really I didn't need his help in particular I could have gotten help from anyone else who had studied the same thing he did. I knew plenty of them but no I had to talk to him. And you know why? so I could keep the connection going between us. Things are weird between us now. Talking to him is difficult for me and he makes it difficult so in a sense that helps b/c then we don't talk as much. Lately we'll go months without speaking and then all of the sudden he'll say something to me and then gradually I'm pulled back in again.

It's hard but you have to be strong and have will power. If you really want to get over someone you have to put your all into it and not make excuses for anything. I've always viewed getting over someone as stopping an addiction. Like right now I'm also having trouble not eating chocolate as much. But then randomly I start craving it again and then I find myself with a spoonful of nutella... and I curse at myself b/c darn I'm doing it again. Same thing. It's a craving for a relationship a feeling of contentment that you had with this person. You have to let it go and realize that you can find that somewhere else. You just have to have the will power to do it.

I was actually watching a show today that's in Spanish and the guy said "el amor siempre se puede superar" meaning you can always get over love. And I was like yep that you can...