Back at square one............

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2007
Back at square one............
9
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:46pm

I took my daughter to my Mom's this weekend to spend Spring Break up there.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:58pm

You're trying to be "friends" with him and it's too soon for that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 1:18pm

all i can say, isn't this the guy who basically controls your daughter to the point of telling her she looks frumpy or ugly w/ her hair like that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 2:11pm

You're right............ I just remembered I have plans tonight............with myself, a pilates dvd and a glass of wine (maybe 2)


It's sad, I guess..... It would be easier if I hated him, but I haven't felt the hate part in awhile so I guess I'm not right back where I started?


Why can't he just talk to me about our daughter and not ask how I'm doing etc........ Does he ask because

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 2:32pm

That's the wrong question to ask.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 3:02pm
Did I recommend you read 'In Sheep's Clothing' about dealing with manipulative people?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 3:08pm

Sheri's point is very valid, but when I've been in states like yourself, what helps me to realize is "who is more important? You or him? You, right?! The tricky thing when we're breaking up is looking for more meaning than is there. I still have to stop myself w/ my ex when he says he misses me or wishes I were there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 8:48pm

Well,

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:49am

Yes, people can change but it takes a LOT of hard work and I think most people who try to change don't succeed because it's too hard and takes too long.


Is he willing to go to counseling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 12:04pm
Sure people change, whether or not those changes are long term, permanent changes, well, those don't usually happen without professional help.