Back Together??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Back Together??
2
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 2:01pm

Okay so a few days ago my ex and I decided to try to make things work and get back together. We still have issues to work out obviously but are trying to take things slow. While we were apart we were both with other people. He wanted to know details and I told him and now he obivously uncomfortable with knowing I was with someone else. But he did the exact same thing and I feel like I don't have a right to be mad at him for it even if I don't like the idea.

He was the one ho broke up woth me and I don't think he thought I would be someone else. I feel like he has this big double standard and he even admits that he does. Is this someone that he will get over with time (he's only known for a few days)? I'm trying to be okay with him doing things he didn't when we were together before (i.e. hanging out with his new friend who is a girl). So do you think that this is all something that time will work out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 4:31pm

Susie1520007...

Pianoguy thinks you made a MAJOR MISTAKE discussing what you did and with whom?

When there's a split followed by a reconciliation...NOBODY is under any obligation to share 'any of the particulars!' For all practical purposes...YOU WERE SEPARATED AND SINGLE!

I'd suggest neither one of you discuss what happened with the other partners...and pay more concentration to the reasons the 2 of you want to TRY AGAIN?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 2:44am

Susie,
Trust me on this, if you each obsess over the other did while you were apart, it will drive a wedge between you. He will get over it if he chooses to put rebuilding your relationship first and get over it.

I'm wondering what you said about trying to be okay with him doing things he didn't when you were together. His hanging out with his new female friend was your example. This is a completely different issue than what you did while you were apart. You had no control over what the other did, and you had no responsibility to each other. (Not that any of us is looking to control anyone... but the boundaries are obviously different in a relationship.) Were there trust issues in the relationship before you split? I guess I would need to know that before I'd be comfortable commenting on that part of your situation.




Edited 5/27/2007 2:49 am ET by beingboring112