Backslide

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Backslide
2
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 3:38pm
Hi guys. I recently broke up with my boyfriend as some of you might remember. I was actually feeling great. I was moving on. Felt amazing. Other guys had been showing interest. I was going on day 7 of no contact. Well he contacted me last night. To tell me how upset he was that I sent him everything back. Gifts and all. He was quite angry. He thought it was "bushleague." He was upset that I sent back his gifts. To me, they are just things. They don't mean anything ot me anymore. I didn't tell him that. I only apologized and told him it was not my intention to upset him. I just didn't want ANY reminders of him and I wanted him to decide what he wanted to do with them. I couldn't bear to throw them away, but I didn't want them here. He thought I was never going to talk to him again. I told him that I wanted a clean cut and that I couldn't think about him. I had to get over him completely before I could even think about being his friend. I wanted to be mean. I wanted to say "GOOD! I am glad you are upset. How you broke it off with me was unacceptable and cruel, and now you are sitting here getting mad about how I sent you everything back." I wanted him to be upset, but not because of me sending his things back.. but because he hurt someone he cared about so badly. And didn't show an ounce of remorse. Completely indifferent... For all of you who dont know... HE BROKE UP WITH ME ON AIM... AFTER 5 MONTHES OF A RELATIONSHIP AND 6 MONTHS OF FRIENDSHIP BEFORE THAT. Not even a phone call. Not even a face to face contact. AIM dammit. How is that okay???? You tell me you are falling in love with me and you don't even have the balls to break up with me to my face. He hasn't even acknowledged that what he did was CRUEL! He kept me on a string for three weeks and was too coward to break it off completely. He then has the audacity to get mad at me. He's lucky I will even consider being his friend again. I mean consider... I don't know if Ill be able to do it. Im upset and I felt like I just got set back. I just had a dream about him today. We were laughing and holding each other and carrying on. We were on a trip. He kissed me. God... how i miss that. I woke up and started crying. He hasn't called.. he hasn't texted... he hasn't had any sort of contact with me. That hurts. The only thing he contacts me about is the stupid stuff I sent back. I feel like my heart was stepped on. So again... Time to start over. Day 1 of no contact.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 3:55pm
Just take comfort in the fact that YOU didn't try to contact him, you ARE trying to get over him. My recent ex ended things with me on mesenger too. And like you, I want him to aknowledge and appreciate what that has done to me. It's hard to be friendly with someone who doesn't even want to TRY to understand. Our situations sound alot alike. If you want to chat sometime, send me a pm. (I also have a younger sister named Lindsay, and we call her "Lindsayloo.")
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
In reply to: lindseyloo3035
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 5:09pm
I have been walking in that same circle for 11 months now. My ex left me after 5 years (he had his friend tell me he wanted to break up with me), and we haven't communicated since. He dumped me so I figure he should be the one to make the first call/text/email... but he hasn't. He feels no remorse for how bad he hurt me, and if he did, doesn't even want to check up on me. I wish I knew that I made some difference in his life. Even asking me to be his friend, like your ex did, would let me know that I did mean something to him... Be strong, and remember: the only people we need in OUR lives are the people that need US in theirs.