backsliding :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005
backsliding :(
2
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:57pm
We broke up in December, and I have come so far since then, but I am finding myself on a backslide. I saw him on Saturday, at first he was alone, then his girlfriend showed up. We were with a large group of mutual friends celebrating a birthday, and this was the first time I've seen him since December. We talked briefly on the phone a few weeks ago because he needed the number of our old landlord and we chatted a bit, casually. But when I saw him, he barely spoke to me, even when his gf wasn't there. I know I approached him, but I can't exactly remember what I said...I was a bit intoxicated. His girlfriend is annoying, as all our mutual friends have told me. She is 6 years older than him and more immature than he is (not an easy feat) and not even physically attractive. I don't get the attraction other than she probably supports him financially as I did for 2 years before I couldn't take it anymore. He's far from a catch and I KNOW this, so why, oh why, am I feeling so miserable right now? I miss him like crazy, I'm jealous of his gf (no matter how annoying or unattractive she may be, she still has him and I don't), and I can't stop thinking of them together. I am currently single; I had a 4 month relationship since my breakup and an even more brief relationship after that, but up until I saw the ex, I was HAPPY I was single. Now I am lonely and sad. Argh! This process is so frustrating! I had come SO far and now it feels so fresh! I am just so saddened by how he basically ignored me when I saw him. A MAN would come up to his ex, say hello, maybe even a hug, say "you look good" or "how have you been?" or something...I can't believe I didn't even warrent a personal hello. We were together (off and on) for 11 years!! And we lived together for two years!! He and I are both 26, you think we could be more adult about this. I don't know...I'm just so hurt :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 3:42pm

((Jennifer))


I'm sorry that you are feeling fresh hurt.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 1:21am

The long and short of it is, i think what you're feeling right now is more, jealous of the fact that he was happy and he'd found someone and to you that wasn't fair. It's not anything directly related to him. You don't want HIM, you just don't think it's quite fair for him to be happy

And to be fair I'm not sure what you mean by more 'adult' about this. He didn't rant and rave and scream at you. He was pretty cordial, in my opinion. I think you're putting too much emphasis on this one party that means nothing really. If he'd said hello, you'd fault him for not talking more to you or think he still have feelings. Just let it go. It's over analysis of a meanless situation.

And it's not backsliding really, just a blip on the radar and like all things, it'll pass and you'll laugh about it one day.

cheers
Susanna

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your