Bad day!
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| Mon, 03-20-2006 - 1:34pm |
I reached the 2 week point of my break-up. I have only tried to call him once (1 week ago) and other than a few e-mails to get my things back there has been no contact. Last Monday I texted him early a.m. and asked him to leave my things on his porch and I would pick them up after he left for work. No response until 3 p.m. (I drove by anyway and there was nothing on the porch) - he sent me an e-mail saying he wanted to bring my things over himself. I asked him what time and told him I would be gone - I came home that night and nothing. Through e-mail we agreed he would bring the things Wednesday, again I leave and again nothing. Then he was to bring them Friday - still nothing and it is Monday. What is going on?! Last night I got the e-mail below from a friend - and that really set me back and may be why I am having such a terrible day today. Wanting him back and wanting him close to me. It hurts to hear him say "no contact" when I was the one this weekend who decided, whether I get my things back or not, I cannot have any contact with him. But that just sounds so final - and my heart is breaking all over again. I need some words of wisdom to remember that this happened for a reason. B/c all I feel right now is I lost the best guy and he is so over it.
"I actually saw him today at the gym. He said his mom was in town and he had been hanging out with her the whole weekend. It was kinda weird and didn't really know what to say. Right before I was going to leave, he said, You know Kelly and I broke up. He said it was hard, but it was definitely the best thing and you guys both wanted different things at different times. He did say though he really wanted to cut off all ties with you to make it easier."

Well, if he's "so over it," then he's definitely not the best guy. The best guy wouldn't be able to let you walk out of his life, no matter what. And I think it's very important that you let your friends know that you're moving on with your life and it would be best if they not tell you if they run into him. I had to walk into the place where I worked with my ex (neither of us works there anymore) last week and it was horrible. It just took me right back. Honestly, just standing there, I feel like I failed myself because the whole time I worked there I was hoping and dreaming of a day me and this guy would be together permanently. And it's crazy because I know I did everything I could to make the relationship work, but when I walk in that place I'm just reminded of that naive version of myself that thought this guy was something that he really wasn't. I've found it's much better to surround myself with my new life and try my best to pretend he no longer exists. Any reminder that he does exist just sets me way back in the healing process.
As for your stuff, he's definitely holding it hostage. He's not going to give it to you unless he sees you. If you decide to just forget about it, expect him to use it as an excuse to keep calling you about bringing it by. Yes, no contact sounds final but don't think of it that way. Just make your goal one day at a time and soon you'll find that you can't even remember why you wanted to contact him. Tell yourself that someday you'll call him again and resume your friendship. Chances are by the time you get through this NC period you won't want to be friends with him, but you won't believe that now, so tell yourself whatever lie you need to get through the next two or three months. Remember, the sooner you cut him out of your life, the sooner you'll heal.
Steph