Bad me!!!
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Bad me!!!
| Fri, 11-09-2007 - 9:18pm |
Why oh why did I have to mess up my NINE months of NC? I posted earlier this week about seeing him on the news. I decided it'd be harmless to send him a friendly, but very short email telling him that I saw him. I guess no answer back is better than him emailing me back, and cussing me out. I still feel so stupid though.

Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start the counter over.... we've all done something like that.
#1 Rule - every time you feel the need to contact (email, call, text, IM) wait 24 hours before acting on those feelings, because 9 times out of 10, after the 24 hours your feelings are will be different.
" i keep wondering how i would react if i ran into him at the grocery store or something. i have images of myself running out of the store, or starting to cry in front of him"
Ugh. Me, too. It's an inevitablility that we will run into one another eventually. How can I deal??? When I almost ran into him the other night because I heard we was coming down to a community event, my self-esteem plummeted and I could barely function. I left rather than start crying in front of everyone! What am I going to do if I see him somewhere and I can't help crying? Ugh...
I think it really depends on the person or how far along you are. Too bad there's no logical formula to this. I have a friend for whom this works, but I think it's more because the ex inevitably will start begging her back and she doesn't like emotionally available men.
However, I WILL say that I ran into my ex last week and it's been 4 -5 months after our break up and it was sort of nothing. We saw each other in passing, but whatever spark I had for him is gone. I kept gearing up for that sharp pain I used to feel and instead there's just this empty indifference. But my point is, there IS HOPE! And plus, I'm sure none of you broken down and cried after 'contacting' him, so improvement from before!
All the best
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
Don't be so hard on yourself! Although it may feel like it, you didn't undo all the work and progress you've made over the past 9 months. You're not calling him, hanging outside where he works or lives, trying to find out how he's doing through mutual friends, you simply sent him a brief message to let him know that you saw him on TV. Unless you were begging him to come back or telling him you miss him, it's really quite harmless. Focus on what you DIDN'T do instead of what you DID do. All the best, and hang in there!
hugs, lisa
hey look at it this way, if you were casual about it, it looks more like you are over him