bad relationship but i cant leave
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| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 5:10pm |
I have been in a relationship for 3.5 years now and I just don't know what to do anymore. For the past 1.5 years our relationship has gotten worse. My boyfriend treats me well for about 3 weeks then we have this pattern of having a really bad fight every month or so. It's really stressing me out. This is my first year of graduate school and it is a very intense program. Before I started I had many long talks with him letting him know that if his anger problem does not subside I'll have to break up with him. All the promises he has made to me he has broken. He has a very bad temper and when he gets mad it scares me. I love him and i don't know what to do any more. I'm stressed with school and I'm stressed with him.
Its like he has 2 personalities. He'll treat me well and then when he gets mad at me he yells at me and says hurtful things to me. Even on days where I have to study for an exam he will begin a fight with me knowing that I am already stressed and trying to study. When he does that to me I can't focus or study. My grades have not been affected but I feel sad alot of times. I'm not happy in this relationship but I don't want to be alone. Also in the past when I have told him we may have to break up, he gets violent and says if i leave he has no reason to life. The thought of him doing something to himself really frightens me. I just wish that he didnt have a temper and treat me badly when he chooses to, I love him and I don't knwo why all of this is happening. Why can't we just not get into to horrible fights where he lashes out on me simply because the dishes have been dirty for 2 days and I ask him in a nice way when he will do them. I feel really hopeless. ( I live with him, and this is another reason why I dont know what to do).
Any advise is greatly appreciated. Thank you,
Vanessa

Hi Vanessa and welcome to the board. Sounds like you are in the repeating pattern of an abusive relationship.