Bad Situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Bad Situation.
6
Wed, 02-02-2005 - 11:10pm
I have lived with my boyfriend (in his apartment)for over a year. We are now breaking up,and he is acting very MEAN toward me as if he never met me. He constantly throw's thing's in my face like: YOU LIVE IN MY HOME, or YOU DRIVE MY CAR,or I GAVE UP ALL MY FRIEND'S FOR YOU.The reality of it is, he begged for me to live with him,and he told me to use his car to get to work,(i have no car due to financial trouble),so he's constantly saying i ruined his life.I try to explain him that however both of our situation's turned out to be now,that it's not each other's fault.He keep's blaming me for everything bad that happen's to him and i'm sick of it.And for the record,i DO pay half the bill's and pay half the car.I'm sort of stuck in his apartment with him until i get enough money together to buy my own car,and get my own place. Any advise on how to deal with his anger and resentment until i leave,i do not deserve being blamed for everything,i gave up a lot of thing's for this relationship myself,but that was my choice, i don't throw that in his face. Should i just ignore him,or speak up (only problem with that is that he has a bad temper and tend's to get a bit scary).Please any advice would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: shangmn1
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 12:10am
I don't understand why your only option is to continue living w/ your ex until you get enough money. You broke up, and you're on bad terms. Why he's "being this way" is not the issue. He doesn't want you there, you're not comfortable (and maybe not safe) there. Sleep on a friend's couch, stay with a cousin, check out the classifieds and your local colleges for people looking for roommates (there's always someone). Remove yourself from the situation, that's the only answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: shangmn1
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 12:16am
Well i use his car to get to work,so until i have enough money i really have no choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: shangmn1
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 12:39am
Also i'm in financial debt,so money is tight right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: shangmn1
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 6:23pm
Come on, those are all excuses. You wanted advice, here it is. You're an adult, and responsible for paying your own way in life. You weren't married to this guy, you should not have expected financial support from him. Even if you were married, most discover after the divorce that they will not have the same standard of living as when there were two incomes. This isn't rocket science - get a ride from a coworker, or take the bus, or the subway, or buy a bike from Goodwill and pedal there. Get a part-time second job to make ends meet. Find a roommate or good friend to stay with to minimize your living expenses. Sell some of your stuff to pick up some extra cash. You can brainstorm all these ideas just as well as I can. You won't do it because you're being kind of childish about it, refusing to make the hard choices you'll have to make to get along in the new, post-relationship world you're living in. It's time to grow up and take care of yourself, face the fact that things have changed with the end of your relationship, and start to adapt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: shangmn1
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 9:17pm
I'm sorry to hear about your situation...I know it must be tough.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: shangmn1
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 6:20am
Thank's Heidi,I'm going to try to work overtime,my money is really tight right now. I will keep you posted and let you know what's happening,hopefully i can get out of here soon,Thank's again.