Been dumped and need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2004
Been dumped and need advice
2
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 2:16pm
I've been/was dating a guy for the last 3 months that I completely fell for. He found something out about me that he doesn't like. I have an addiction to alcohol. I have since sought treatment and have quit. When he broke it off I asked him if he would give me another chance after I stopped drinking and he replied, "I can't lie and say yes, but never know. Have to cross that bridge when you get to it." What the heck does that mean? I don't know whether to give up on him or not. He says that he'll still be here as a friend, and has been, but it's hard to be just friends with someone you're in love with. Should I break the ties and let go, or continue to hope?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 10:42pm
Welcome to the board!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 11:19pm

Sweetness,

Congratulations on your road to recovery. It takes a lot of strength to admit your addiction to alcohol and to seek treatment. It's going to be a difficult journey for you, and it is going to take time. The first step is to stop, but there are many other things you will go through that will help you in taking control of it and your life.

During that time, you will probably go through many changes. I think your ex is offering you his support as you recover, but he doesn't want to make any guarantees. His trust in you is damaged because you hid something from him and yourself. If he has no history of relationships involving alcoholism (familial, professional or personal), he may be confused and uncertain as to how to deal with it.

I would not break the ties of friendship during your difficult time as long as he is open to contact. Maybe in that period, you two can develop a bond that is based on trust and respect, which are great foundations to build a relationship on. The past relationship you two have had was stunted and would not have grown well. Perhaps it is best to let it go as you work on controlling your addiction.

Good luck

Mimiche