Been Thinking...I know its bad!
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Been Thinking...I know its bad!
| Sat, 11-03-2007 - 8:13am |
Ive been processing alot of whats happend between him and I think thats important to do just to avoid making the same mistakes again.

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::introspection or outerspection is never wasted time or energy. have all of you been cheated on?
Yes, I have been cheated on.
::i'm always surprised that people think that trying to understanding what happened to us is an exercise in futility.
Understanding something that happened to you and/or introspection is way, way different the mental hoops that Sue is going through.
Carrie,
Thanks for the words of encouragement, as always.
Carrie,
We were posting at the same time...I just wanted to add that your right about the mental hoops...I suppose it is a matter of acceptance of the situation and why doesnt really matter anymore.
not to beat this point to death, but re: this
:I knew I would take some hits for thinking:
you're on a break-up board for crying out loud (which i just was, lol).
if you and other people don't come here & obsess, how will we know we're all going through the same thing.
never should have to take hits for thinking...
now, that said, suggestions about how to improve your train of thought are great, & that's what we're all here for.
Thanks!! My thoughts exactly....But yes sometimes the train of thought has to be changed...that one Im working on and Im sure you and others are too.
once again, we think alike. yes, i'm a processor. i spend a lot of time processing people in and out of my life.
i think the thing with cheating that is so difficult is that we tend to say to ourselves, what is wrong with me that i'm not enough? even though everyone can tell us it's not US we have to convince OURSELVES of that, emotionally.
it's not a rational thing. but emotions are helped along by changing thought patterns so it's a little bit of both.
To a degree yes, we all have to obsess a bit. But within reason
But a good example, is that one girl whose name I've already forgotten who was here adamantly trying to rationalize why her 'boyfriend' wasn't taking her calls and such. (and if you're reading this, I'm trying to single you out) I think everyone's point is that THAT sort of thing is unhealthy. It broke everyone's heart to see her killing herself over this constant running over of pointless details.
Or another example is that idea that your ex is going to give you closure. I see SO many people chasing after their ex looking for 'why', only it doesn't satisfy them, and they repeat the cycle constantly. Again, bad thing to do and it goes back to the idea that it's ok to think why, but not to let it take over your life to the point where you feel that if you only understood the 'real why' you'd be able to fix what went wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I too have been in that cheated on boat (twice actually). There's no logical reason to ME why someone would get his rocks off and dump his faithfully waiting girlfriend for some random chick. Or why you'd risk the trust in a relationship. And I've accepted that I'm never going to understand the mentality because cheating on my SO is not something that would ever cross my mind. And I'm content with that. Again, that goes back to closure - find some reason you can live with, and dont' worry if that's the 'real' reason.
all the best
Well Thanks Girls! I decided Im done thinking about it......at least thats the plan! LOL
....."I decided Im done thinking about it......at least thats the plan!".....
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