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| Thu, 04-26-2007 - 3:06pm |
I'm having difficulty moving on from a relationship I recently ended. The guy is my cousins roommate and we met in January. From the first day we met we never stopped talking, and we got along so well. He started staying at my apartment almost every night and we had sex. I felt so comfortable with him and we spent all of our time together. We both seemed very happy with one another. From the beginning he told me that his best friend was his ex girlfriend. (they dated for almost a year in highschool) I was completely understanding and didn't have a problem with her. He barely talked to her from the time we met because we had spent so much time with eachother. Early in the week he told me that he was going out with his roommate and this girl. We hadn't spent any time apart so I was understanding.(even though i hadn't met her yet) That night I was tired and planning on spending the night in, which he took as me being upset with him. His roommate invited me out with them but the three of us argued back and forth. To make a long story short I ended up meeting them downtown with my best friend. When i arrived he was in a bad mood and wouldn't quit watching this best friend. The roommate had to introduce us because my boyfriend refused to talk with me and barely looked at me. I refused to let this get the better half of me, until he left the bar with her and ended up having sex with her. I spent the next day with his roommate (he called during the day and asked him not to tell me that he slept with her) when he arrived home from work i broke up with him. There was no doubt in my mind that i wanted to end the relationship even though i liked him so much and had so much fun with him. The difficulty comes up when he started talking to me and wanted to clear things up .. deny that anything happened with his ex and we started talking again. I have known this entire time however that he did cheat on me. At one point after a long discussion and me telling him to be honest with himself that he still had feelings for this other girl he called me the next day saying i was right .. only to call me two days later saying it was the worst mistake of his life. For the past month he's been trying everything and telling me how much he cares for me and that it was the biggest mistake ever. I have gave him so many chances to come forward with the truth. I had to block him to end the instant messages, of course i miss hanging out with him and the time we spent together. I guess my question is once you are cheated on should there be room for forgiveness or does the famous once a cheater always a cheater line stand. He tells me how he took me for granted and didn't realize how good he had it when we were togehter. Should I be listening to this or does it sound like a load of crap. (also he just found out last week that this girl is moving to B.C. for the summer). did he loose at his own game?
thank you

I've been cheated on before, but not by a boyfriend that I was in love with so I can't really comment on how much it pain it causes.....it's pretty hurtful even when you don't really even like the guy. I don't always believe that once a cheater always a cheater because people are different in every situation. Just because someone cheated on an ex doesn't mean they will cheat on you, and vise versa just because someone never cheated on an ex doesn't necessarily mean they won't cheat on you. People cheat for all sorts of reasons, boredom, lack of fulfillment, too much alcohol, too much fulfillment, etc, etc. If you really like him talk to him. You don't have to get back together but talk to him and see where he stands, see what he has to say for himself. Maybe hang out together in a group a few times and see how it feels. Take is slow with no expectations and see if its something you want to explore again. If not, at least you'll know for yourself that you did what you could.
I'm going to
I saw this and thought of you and one other person going through something similar..