being left for someone else?
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| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 5:18pm |
how many of you guys have had your significant other leave you for someone else? can i get some feedback, or stories about what ended up happening?
how long did it take you to get over it?
also, how would you describe the completely erratic behavior my ex (18 year old female) is going through? her best friends came to me and told me they were worried because she was "acting different" and "being b*tchy", when she was a complete wholesome girl for 4 years with me. they also said she had been skipping a few classes and not doing her work, when she was a hard worker for 4 years while we were together. she was also very family oriented, every day, multiple times a day talking to her family. she's called them names, told them she hates them (they do not approve of this new guy), and she's fallen out of contact with them for days at a time which is very unnatural of her. she is not eating anymore (stages of anorexia) to impress this guy (that she's known for 3-4 weeks) and this is not like her at all. she was very clingy and protective, devoted you could say, to me for 4 years...and we haven't talked in 14 days and it really seems like she does not care.
(i saw her facebook profile and it said something about being happy and whatnot). what gives here people?

Hi zoey - you are obsessing - LOL, but I can answer one of your questions...
::how would you describe the completely erratic behavior my ex (18 year old female) is going through?
Kids (for lack of a better term), older teens, even young adults enter some type phase
haha yes i sort of am obsessing i supppose, but i'm slowly getting over this woman. and by woman i mean monster.
but seriously, that post was really good, except i don't think she's out having sex with this guy to cover up the hurt. she thinks shes in love with him.
it's day 14 of no contact right now. ahhh im finding my inner strength. sooner or later ill wake up one day and just not care (hopefully). even her friends told her, that she at least deserves to give me a reason, she wouldn't even want to talk about it with me! after all we've been through i deserve closure.
i think, the way this ended, with the lack of closure, and how i handled it (not flipping out and being really sweet to her), plus our past history will mean that one day she will want to just talk about it. i hope so, anyhow.
you know what? ive come to the conclusion what she does is none of my business anymore, and that it's not my problem. if she wants to talk she knows where to find me (i hear its really a good idea not to call her)
Hi Zoey,
::you know what? ive come to the conclusion what she does is none of my business anymore, and that it's not my problem. if she wants to talk she knows where to find me (i hear its really a good idea not to call her)
It is a really good idea not to call her.
Hey Zoey,
I have really taken to your story since it feels a lot like mine. In just the last few days I have started to get into the acceptance phase. I am still upset sometimes especially when I am alone in the mornings. I am leaving in about an hour for a trip with some friends for 5 days so I know I won't think about him then.
I restarted my no contact on Thursday after going to see him at his birthday party looking amazing. Short recap of the story, I snapped at him in class after he offered me a ride home and mentioned the party and that she wouldn't be there. I felt bad about it and had plans with some of my friends to go to an upscale bar. I came home put on a dress I know he wanted to see me in. Went to the bar where he was with his friends, had him come over to me. Apologized and then walked out. He did mention I looked really good and that I was wearing the dress I promised I would wear for him.
That was sort of a turning point for me. It was sort of my revenge. I walked out that door knowing it was over that I wasn't going to talk to him again. It was painful but I left it the way I wanted not the way he wanted.
Yesterday though I was sitting outside the building for my department with a friend talking with a friend. I hear hello to my right and I look over and it is my ex. I said hi and sort of looked at him funny. He is never in my building but said he was there for a colloquial. I think I said something like oh and then turned back to my conversation with my friend.
The kicker here is the guy I was talking to was someone I almost dated instead of him. My friend is seeing someone now and am I ok with that. My ex really knows nothing about what is going on with me personally. He does know I liked this guy and there is a good chance he might have wondered what was going on.
I don't count that as a break of no contact because I didn't do it and I tried to make it as short as possible. If he does it again I'll probably just ask him not to talk to me.
I think you'll get to full acceptance, I am still teatering a bit back and forth right now and I am hoping this trip will help me since these are my friends who know and care about me. It is funny the other night they were talking about funny ways to get back at him and one of them offered to go beat him up for me.
Zoey reach out to your friends, do something fun, I am sure you have spring break coming up soon. Find something fun to do nearby with a group of your friends. That is what I am doing. Get the heck out of town even if it is for a few days.