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| Mon, 10-30-2006 - 8:12am |
I just signed up to this and hope this might be able to help me through this breakup. Here's a bit of history...D and I had been going out for about a year and a half, solid. We were on again, off again for a year before that. We've broken up before for a myriad of reasons, the first time being he wasn't over his ex...the second time because he thought I was asking for too much of what he wasn't willing to give me.
That being said, here's what happened in the last month...A few weeks ago we went on our first trip together, to a friend's wedding where we were best man and maid of honor. Then his sister got married the weekend immediately following. The weekend after that he went out of town to meet my parents and watch me run a marathon.
With the weddings then meeting my folks, it seemed we were on the right track, but a part of me kept saying I wasn't entirely happy because I still felt like he wasn't giving me enough. Because of our conflicting work schedules, we only see each other Friday and Saturday evenings, and part of the day on Sunday. He recently found a new job where he gets off work a little earlier, which I thought meant he would call me when he gets off work just to say goodnight before I went to bed. But it didn't happen. In fact, for four days out of the week, we didn't have any contact!
Anywho, so not to bore you with meaningless details, I had an awful week last week with finances, work,etc...I was moody yesterday, he asked why, I told him at times I felt unwanted in his life. As if I could be there, or not be there and it wouldn't make a difference. After talking for 3 hours, we broke up.
In the end I think I agreed to it because here was a man who said he wanted to marry me, I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but also said I was not the center of his universe. I know I don't want to be with a person like that, but it's still so hard...it just doesn't seem like it actually happened.
We agreed not to be friends anymore because that was our problem in the times before so I can't seem the grasp onto the idea of never seeing him again...anyway, thanks for listening to my rant.

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I don't know the whole situation, BUT to me this last paragraph sounds like you're a tad selfish and resent the fact that you weren't "the center of his universe". Ideally, we women like to be that, but in reality it's not like that. Men have their own lives and stuff to do. Women should have their own lives as well.
I wonder why it wasn't enough for you that he said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and marry you. You put more more emphasis in him saying that you weren't the center of his universe. What does that mean? Is it that you wanted him to be with you all the time? or that you wanted him to call you all the time?
Perhaps, you were indeed asking too much of him and he couldn't give you more OR maybe he was not the man you wanted him to be. That happens when one wants to change a man. That can't be done.
If you didn't feel that your needs were fulfilled then you did the right thing in breaking it up. BUT, I'd be less strict when it comes to asking stuff from a man because you may encounter the same problem if this is a pattern.
Saying that I'm not the center of his universe but that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me would be enough for me, BUT as I stated above, I don't know the entire blog.
I'm sorry about your breakup, we'll try and help you through the hurt feelings.