BF and I broke up tonight :(
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:43pm |
So after seeing each other for 2 1/2 years I asked him to move in at the end of June. He said no. We fought over it and I was really angry. Before this our relationship was great. We get along really well and love each other very much but I want a committment and babies and everything and he never knows what he wants to do in his life. So 4th of July we have a big fight (big for us, we rarely argue). I decide that since our relationship was good before we should give it another try - he suggests couples counseling so I say ok.
Our first appt was last Friday. I thought nothing new came of it by BF was shocked to realize he was irresponsible. We spend all last weekend together. From everything he says to me I think he's getting it and on the same page as me. Tonight we have our second appt and I don't even recognize him. He says just about the opposite of everything he said last weekend to me. So even the therapist (you could tell) thought this was never going to work. He suggests he has nothing left to offer us.
I am obviously po'd. So I tell bf in parking lot I'm done having this same conversation. He clearly does not want to have a committed relationship with me.
I know it's the right thing to do. I need to look out for myself but... it stinks to through away something good because we don't want the same things in life :(
So, It's only Friday night and this weekend stinks :(
Just needed to vent.
thanks
Sheryl

I feel your pain. Breaking up is hard and the weekends are even worse.
My bf of 2 1/2 years and I broke up recently, too. Its tough. My ex was also a commitment-phobe. But after time I have realized that everything happens for a reason. Something that I keep reminding myself, that you should try to remember, too is that who really wants to be with someone who is not going to give you a full committment? There are lots of men out there who will... so we shouldn't settle for those who do not know what they want.
I miss my ex A LOT. But since I have done the no-contact thing, I feel better. I hear he misses me and wonders why I am not calling. He can keep wondering. I just can't keep playing games.
Just stay busy. At first, (and even now) I had my days fully planned. I even planned out my hours and went one hour at a time. Just so I knew what I would be doing for the next hour to keep me busy and away from the phone.
I am rambling now... I didn't sleep last night, so I am not totally coherent right now. But trust me... things will get better. You just have to give it time. Until then... stay busy and take care of yourself!
Samie
Desiree
I'm with ya, girl!! My boyfriend broke up with me last night (well, actually at 2:13am this morning). We'd dated for 10 months and he did the same thing-- surprise phone call in the middle of the night, then got back together as "friends" that became more serious for another eight. He was talking marriage (he's pretty much a commitment-phobe) and love, and I loved him so much I believed it. We'd spent every night except three together since May -- I will miss him terribly. It WILL be a hard weekend; let me know how yours is going. 2-12 years is a very long time, but you sound like you are very strong and sane and will be fine. How old are you?
Samie had suggested just taking a break... we actually broke up last year over this and he came back after 2 months (of no contact) & convinced me he could commit and wanted to be with me. He didn't move right in because I was wary. Turns out I was right to be wary.
I think it just stinks more because I'm 32 years old. I want kids and I the pressure is on. My last friend without a baby had one 9 weeks ago :( Also, he's the same age and you'd think you'd have it more figured out by now.
Well, thanks again for your support :) I'll be ok. I'm always busy. I'm heading to my sisters in a little while to play with my nephews and tomorrow am going out with my little sister (I volunteer with the Big Brothers Big Sisters Organization). And I have two dogs so it's hard to be too sad when your cuddling with them.
I hope everyone has a good weekend!
Sheryl