bf broke up with me fridatynight....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
bf broke up with me fridatynight....
2
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 2:07pm

hi everyone and merry christmas. i am going to try to make this as short as possible. this past friday night my boyfriend of 2 years mike broke up with me. we both work together and i had dated another guy paul at the same place for a few months before him (this guy doesnt now about us). its against company policy to date. i was out having drinks with my girlfriend and he was out with some of our coworkers (including paul). i called him to see what was up and he wanted me to come over where he was. so of course i did just that. everyone was drunk including myself and the mike. i didnt want him to drive home drunk and asked him to spend the night at my house. he said yes. i was getting tired and my girlfriend also wanted to leave so she gave me a ride home (i left my car over her house). mike called me up as soon as i left saying he was on his way over. i came home, got ready for bed and just jumped right into bed. at least 30 mins went by and he still didnt show up so i called him and got no answer.

i was worried that like an idiot he drove home drunk. i borrowed my mothers car to go see what happened. as i was walking in paul was on his way out and asked what i was doing back. i said to grab a few more drinks lying of course. my boyfriend was still at the bar drinking and eating with one of my other coworkers. i waived to him and he looked surprised that i was there. i said to him oh i thought you were coming over. he said yes but i am eating. i said i called you and you didnt pick up. he just gives me this drunk smile. so i said come on lets go youre coming with me. all of a sudden paul was standing behind me because he came back in to see how i got there since i didnt have a car. he left and my boyfriend said that i embaressed him in front of our other coworker and that the paul overheard our convo. mike starts yelling at me and runs out of the bar into the parking lot looking for his car. i chased after him because i didnt want him to drive. he told me to f@#$ off and that the relationship is over. he got into his car and drove off and called me once again to tell me that its over.

he then called me 10mins later calmer and said that we need to be just friends and nothing more at the moment. he doesnt know what is going to happen when we go back to work on tuesday(we both knew what risk we were taking by dating). he also believes that this time alone is good for both of us so that we can focuse on other things that are going on in our lives. of course i am crying histerically and cannot believe what the hell is going on. we left it at that on saturday he was going to call me so that i can pick up some of my items that were at his place. when we briefly spoke on saturday he said that i could come down to pick up my things. when i got to his place he was waiting for me outside with my things in bags already. he couldnt talk to me either because his mother was expecting him home. i got him to speak to me for a whole 5mins and he pretty much said that his decision is final and that we will speak on monday. he also said that he was still upset and that i embarssed him and suffocated him as well. he still wants to be politically correct and exchange gifts. he is supposed to come over my house to drop off my gifts and my mothers gift that we had purchased together.

i am just disgusted that he did this to me right before christmas. i feel as if he has no respect for me on top of ruining my christmas. i spoke to paul and he didnt hear a damn thing. i am wondering if he was thinking about breaking up with me and just did it right then and there. i am so confused because i thought that we had a really good relationship. we had stupid small arguments in the past but nothing like this. he has not called me at all so far to even see how i was doing. i know that when he gets upset he doesnt speak to me for a few days like he is doing now. i am really confused as well. he still claims that he cares about me and that this decision is not an easy one to make. i feel as if he really doesnt care about me or the relationship otherwise he wouldnt have made such a harsh and irrational decision. i want to speak to him if he even comes over later but what do i say? i feel as if this is really over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 3:25pm

Alcohol distorts one's perception, so it's hard to say if he was planning this or if it just came out of his mouth in that moment.

I think the best you can do is give him the time he wants. He may never give you a reason you completly understand.

Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 3:05pm

what a jerk.....anyways dear it seems that his just TOO drunk thats why he did that...and it seems for me that he called you several times to tell you his breaking up and his serious about it...hello how many times does he wants to keep on repeating it that" his breaking up w/you"...i'm assuming thats why he keep on calling you..for you to beg him and take his word back..you know what i mean??? and i know he didnt mean to tell you those words...good luck