BF gone but surprise party is planned?
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| Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:47pm |
My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me the other night (Tuesday night) and it is now Thursday. It hasn't been that long, and we work for the same company so we run into each other in the halls every now and then. I also have to converse with him through e-mail a few times per day due to the nature of our jobs. So naturally this situation can be a little sticky.
I am really devestated and shocked because he said he no longer wants to make this work. He says he has no energy left. YET, when he broke up with me, I called him later that night and said, "I have a problem. I just sent out an e-mail to people at work today as well as your friends from home (about 22 people total) and invited them to a surprise happy hour for your 26th birthday. I told him that most people already RSVP'ed, and that his friends from home knew about this surprise weeks ago. When I asked him if I should cancel it, he said he didn't know and that I should do whatever I want. One night passed and he called me asking if I had decided to send out the e-mail. I told him that I had not. When I told him I hadn't through a text message, he asked me how my day was and we started talking about work as if nothing had happened, and he never got back to me regarding what he wanted to do with the party. If we are broken up, why does he not want me to tell everyone that the party is off? I am sooo confused. I thought he would have said, yes, let's cancel this and tell everyone we are not together.

Because he's sitting around trying to get you to make the decision for him.
Send out that email and cancel the party already. It'll be better than if you get it all together and he doesn't show up. Then you get to do the awkward "we're broken up" speech to a bunch of his friends.
cheers
Susanna
Similar thing happened to me. We mutually broke up about 1 week after I'd sent out an elaborate Evite for his surprise 27th bday. I'd reserved the banquet room at his apt. complex, made arrangements with the caterer...80% of the guest list had already RSVPed. The night we exchanged things, I mentioned the party and asked if he wanted to keep it and just plan it on his own (including paying). He said no, it would be depressing since it would remind him of me, and asked me to cancel it. The next morning, I sent out a quick Evite update saying "Party's off - hope you're having a great summer!". That was that. No need to explain or go into detail. Your friends will find out the story from you, his friends from him.
I forgot to cancel the room, and it was mildy amusing when his building called the day before the party was to be held asking if I still needed it. I'd totally forgotten by then!