Holy cow. So basically, your husband has bad-mouthed you to your kids and let them do whatever they wanted, so they wouldn't hate him or be upset with him for the things he has done.
Your husband sounds very childish. Really childish. First thing one learns in parenting 101 is no matter how much you and your husband disagree on how to raise children, you have to present a united front when you're disciplining your children.
In any case, two things. As a child of divorce parents, even the most amicable divorce or separation is hard on children. They feel abandoned (and rightly so) especially with your husband childishly badmouthing you behind your back. Your kids are right at their "finding themselves" stage and their stability has eroded away.
HOWEVER, I would certainly begin to set boundaries with your children. Even at my workplace, there are clear differences between children who's parents set sporatic boundaries and parents who are consistent with their discipline. But in my opinion, for the interest of your kids, if your husband continues to undermine you, it might be advisable to pick up and leave. Your kids may hate it, but they'll thank you when they turn into well-rounded mature adults.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
Welcome to the board beingserene (and here's to it being serene again soon),
I'm kind of confused - "He constantly said he couldn't wait for my kids to get the f--- out of the house.
He is their father.
Holy cow. So basically, your husband has bad-mouthed you to your kids and let them do whatever they wanted, so they wouldn't hate him or be upset with him for the things he has done.
Thank you.
Your husband sounds very childish. Really childish. First thing one learns in parenting 101 is no matter how much you and your husband disagree on how to raise children, you have to present a united front when you're disciplining your children.
In any case, two things. As a child of divorce parents, even the most amicable divorce or separation is hard on children. They feel abandoned (and rightly so) especially with your husband childishly badmouthing you behind your back. Your kids are right at their "finding themselves" stage and their stability has eroded away.
HOWEVER, I would certainly begin to set boundaries with your children. Even at my workplace, there are clear differences between children who's parents set sporatic boundaries and parents who are consistent with their discipline. But in my opinion, for the interest of your kids, if your husband continues to undermine you, it might be advisable to pick up and leave. Your kids may hate it, but they'll thank you when they turn into well-rounded mature adults.