a bit off topic, maybe, but....
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 03-27-2007 - 4:28pm |
Hi everyone,
Do you guys love the boards as much as I do? Spending five minutes on here a few times a day is better than $150/hour therapy in some respects...lol.
Anyway, if you have a minute, help me with this...I have a friend who has herself in this situation that drives me crazy and is probably also driving her crazy, and when she talks to me about it I have a hard time not telling her so. She's 27 and has never been in a long-term committed relationship, ever. But she is pretty smart, though I think she could use some of the above-referenced therapy sessions...anyway, she has been flirting with this guy who lives two doors down from her for about five months. He has a live-in girlfriend. He's "admitted" to my friend that he does not love this live-in gf, and he even had her move out for about a month, during which my friend and him fooled around for a bit.
Then, the guy's gf moved back in. My friend keeps cycling through telling him she doesn't even want to be friends with him (to which he says, ok) and then calling him up at moments, for example when she's sick, or needs help hanging a picture, or dumb thing, so he'll come over and help her. Most recently, she "broke up" with him (her words) and then two days later called him and invited him to go to California with her. She's claiming to give him three days to "think about it." She clearly just trying to lure him away from the gf.
So my dilemma is that I hate that she's doing this. I'm guessing she does it because she's insecure, she has some issues, etc. But it effects me because all of our conversation end up with her using this depressive voice, droning on and on about a guy SHE ISN'T EVEN WITH. AND HE'S WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
if you've read this far, what would you say to someone like this? She doesn't seem to want to listen to reason or logic. She doesn't seem to feel any shame or anything for what she's doing.
Thoughts?

Hi,
Would she visit here?
From experience (talking to a whole lot of people) what's going through her head is something like this: If I don't get him, I don't have anything. I'd rather have half a relationship, something/someone I have to pursue because that's all I'm worth.