Blah...Breakup
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Blah...Breakup
| Mon, 05-16-2005 - 11:04pm |
To make a long story short I initiated the breakup with my ex about a day and a half ago. It's like my moods are a constant rollercoaster ride. One minute I'm fine, and BAM..the next I'm depressed and crying! Is this normal?
sometimes I think this was the best for me and I'm doing the right thing. Then again I think, I HATE this feeling I get...lonliness, emptiness, crying, restlessness....what do I do? I know I should keep busy but I've also heard that even though it is really hard, embrace your feelings. Cry if I need to cry but don't avoid my feelings.
Any suggestions would be great. I think I'm phobic about being alone and it would be nice to hear from you all or just someone to listen.
Thanks


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Hi diana! You have alot going on in your life right now, hugs to you!! I think after a break-up, you do go through a range of emotions, exactly like a roller coaster. Sadness, lonliness, and a "lost" feeling are inevitable since the breakup is so fresh. And then your roommates moving out have left you completely even more alone. Can you call friends and family and visit girlfriends to pass time and cry on shoulders?
You kinda shortened your long story so much that you left out why you broke up or what happened. If you had your reasons, then write them down. It's easy to forget the bad things when you are lonely, and selectively only remember the good things. If it wasn't right for you to stay together, then it is best to take sometime for yourself. Being alone is always kinda scary if you never have been before.
Have you had back to back relationships recently? This will take some healing and recovery, but you will be ok. IF you can lean on friends, journal your feelings, and embrace just who you are, that you are kind, caring, sexy, a fabulous amazing women, then you can learn to be happy with yourself and your life.
You are going to miss the perks of the relationship, but you can find great things in being single right now. Eating as much icecream as you want, control over the remote, take off and go out with girlfriends, and shopping sprees. Exercise and indulge yourself, you deserve it!!
And we are always here to listen!! You don't have to shorten your story if you really want to share it, I promise. If you are confused or still hurt by what happened, but if you are good with the reasons, and just need a push as to what to do now... well, the ivillagers here can help with that too! Take care and write more!!
Big hug
Grace
We had been dating about 2 1/2 years and he wasn't from where I am but lived here when we met. His mom and dad had been planning on moving back so I knew it was only a matter of time before he left.
Well he ended up losing his job so he decided he couldn't make it here and wanted to move. He left in Feb and we remained together, visited each other a few times. But a few months passed and things started to fall apart. I wanted to date other people, I really wanted to get serious about finishing college...etc.
Ever since he left in Feb he'd been pressuring me to move up there with him. Telling me he'd marry me if I made the move. After putting it off I finally came to realize that I'm just too young to move away for someone I'm not even sure I want to marry or love the way he loves me. I have friends, family and school here. (School should be the most important thing right now)
I think the main reason for the breakup was that I don't care for him the way he cares for me. I can't remain in a relationship when I know it isn't right. And yes I've often jumped from one relationship to another (UGH, bad choice) I think it's time I learn to be by myself and find out what kind of person I am. I didn't want to hurt him but I knew this was best. It's just hard dealing with the after effects. And the rollercoaster emotions!
Anyone ever had a situation like this? I think coping with the "alone" issues is going to be the hardest, but it's something I HAVE to deal with. I don't want to feel like this everytime I get out of a relationship. Or stay IN a relationship because of it.
Thanks for listening!
~Diana
I have been isolated for the past two years, away from friends and family. It's been sooooo hard and yes, I have as a result put myself in a few very emotionally damaging relationships just because I was so darn lonely. I found that the times when I started to accept myself as a single chick, I was happier and more outgoing and excited about my future. going in and out of these less than meaningful flings always set me back about 10 paces. It gets old. Humans have a craving for social interactions. Just don't be fooled into thinking that social interactions have to be romantic ones all the time. classmates, friends, family can be great too.
He keeps calling...on my cell, at work, at home. I sent him a couple of txt msgs stating that I'm not avoiding him and I'm not ignoring him. It's that I can't talk to him right now, I really feel that it will only make things worse.
Did I make the right decision? Should I do something different?
I would send him an email asking him to please stop calling you; you need some time with no contact in order to move on, and you would really appreciate him respecting you enough to allow you that. Let him know you will contact him when you are ready.
If he doesn't respect that, then you'll have to block him.
Sheri
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I would block him at this point from calling you, for sure.
Sheri
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