Blending problems?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Blending problems?
6
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 8:06pm
I met Brian on yahoo personals and we met in person on 6/26/05. He lives 2 1/2 hours away from me. We are both in our late 30's, divorced and have 7 kids between the two of us. I have 3, he has 1 who lives w/him and he sees the other 3 on occasion as their mother doesn't live close to him. We hit it off right away and became exclusive within a week. He's the only man I've ever been with that I didn't in any way want to change. He is handsome, caring, loving, sexy, and also selfish, stubborn and opinionated...but I love him for who he is. We never fought, not once in the 20 months we were together. We would have disagreements, but never even raised our voices to each other. We talked about the future all the time...right up until Friday evening when we talked about taking a trip next year when he gets his 3rd week of vacation. Then, Saturday we had a little disagreement about the kids (issues with our different parenting styles) and he left. I found him at 10:34AM on Sunday at his friends house. He called me and told me to pack my things that it was over. Not in those words, but there was no yelling or anything. He said that in his heart he knew it was the best thing for both of us. This is a man who took me to Pittsburgh last summer to meet his entire family, held my hand everywhere we went, told me he loved me everyday more than once a day, and talked of the future all the time. He has alot of pressure at work right now because they are shorthanded. I own my own business and I do very well. I don't understand why this happened. He said he didn't want to hold me back anymore...what the heck does that mean!? His family, my family and all our friends are shocked. You could still knock me over with a feather. I haven't contacted him (other than an email about the clarinet that my daughter is using of his) since I left his house on Sunday. I'm trying to play it cool, his sister's advice, but I'm climbing the walls! Does anyone have any good advice for me? I'm trying hard to move on...but I still believe in my heart that Brian and I are meant to be together. We are so compatible it's scary sometimes! Please, anyone...I'm willing to listen to anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:17am
Hi suzyq and welcome to the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 11:06am
I broke down last night and called him. The message I left was like "Hi, it's me. Just wondering how you're doing and how work is going. I know you are pretty frustrated with it lately. Hope everything is going well. Call me if you have time tomorrow. Don't know what I'm doing yet, but I'll try to have my cell phone with me. See you later." He said that when I was ready, that he would talk to me. We agreed to still be friends, so I thought if I sounded like I wasn't upset, which I wasn't at the time, that he might call me back. Why is it so hard just to pick myself up off the ground, hold my head high and move on? Thank you for your advice cl-itwinflame. I have heard it from ALOT of women. I know in my heart that's what I have to do. Why is it so darned hard!!!!????
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:51pm
It's normal to feel its hard to not call or to do 'no contact.'
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 4:37pm
I know I will get through it...some days are worse than others, obviously. Today is a good day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but I know that I can do this. This was my first weekend without him in a long time...and my kids were w/their Dad so I was alone. It was a good weekend overall I think. He emailed me yesterday and I read it, and deleted it. I have not responded and feel good about that. I am hopeful that things keep progressing. I know it's a slow process..two steps forward, one back...but I'm going to make it. Thank you and I'll keep reading other posts to give me the strength that I need.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 10:31pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:55am

You will get through it.

Susan

"Success is building a foundation wit