bored/confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
bored/confused
6
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 8:22pm
I was with a guy on and off for almost 4 years. We got into a fight and he hasnt called me back or even called me in general. Depressing enough was i went to his house and gave him his valentines gift i had bought him before hand and his stuff back. He wasnt there so i gave it to his mom. She claimed she hasnt seen him in 2 days. I dont think i believe her. He plans on moving over an hour away, which makes it easier to move on. However, I'd like my stuff back and dont have a clue to going about it, because i can not contact him. I want it to be over..i dont want this to drag on. The other thing that sucks about this problem is, i am the ONLY single girl out of all of my friends now. So i get ditched for husbands and boyfriends and sit alone with my dog. I dont want to be a single dog woman for the rest of my life, because of not going out to meet people. I dont meet people at my job, a.) because im a manager there and cant date anyone lower than me and b.) the people i work with that are managers too are old and have children, so they wouldnt be people i'd hang out with outside of work either. Its depressing. Id like some advice to maybe help the situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: jillian_j
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 11:39pm

Hi jillian_j and welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: jillian_j
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 1:11am

I don't understand why you can't contact him, you went to his house.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
In reply to: jillian_j
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 2:20am
I couldnt go to the park if i tried..but that is good advice. I live in the midwest and my dog even hates to go outside to go potty haha..he gets covered in snow and acts like im a cruel person for making him go outside. I do, do stuff..its just hard..i'd like to go out...but ive never been by myself.id go out with friends...i moved away from home by myself and met new people..then ended up moving back home, for personal reasons..and the lack of things to do makes it hard..its either go to the bar or go to the bar...and i'll go to the bar, but not alone. I go to a yoga class, but only one other person goes..the teacher..thats why its irrating. I know i NEED change, and i plan on moving again to get away...but i need to learn that moving away doesnt solve all my problems.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
In reply to: jillian_j
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 2:28am
oh and ps in regards to my ex..i already felt like a fool going to his house to return his stuff...due to the problem he is a 26 year old man who still lives at home with his parents and they know all the drama..and the reason we broke up was because he quit his job for no reason...and due to the lack of jobs he says..he needs to move to another town over an hour away..and live with his brother in law and sister who just recently had a baby...and i said its already sad i have to hang out at your parents house..but i refuse to go to their house and ruin their lives. I said grow up. I've had issues with his family as it was..so due to what i said about them and him and the dealings of his family..probably makes me look like a bad person. Also, to add to the issues with his sister and brother in law..he took me to vegas for my bday..and low and behold they decide to go that same weekend..so we hung out with them pretty much the whole weekend..romantic. Then to piss me off even worse, quoted by him..when we went to fremont street one night..he said i wished my sister was here to enjoy this..and it set off a huge spark..hurt my feelings..so i DO NOT WANT to be anywhere near them..because i'll never compare to her and be nothing in his eyes..because he picked to move and picked to move to be there with them..instead of staying here with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: jillian_j
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 11:10am

Ok, so let's tackle first things first:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
In reply to: jillian_j
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 10:20pm
i totally agree with you. I have such a small family and its only my mom and i. We have a close relationship and then i have my sister and she lives far far away...so family things arent my thing. The whole trip was negative energy to begin with. Because i got ditched by his sister, when we had plans to do something..and he ditched me to play poker with his brother in law and i was bitter about that..still am. If i wouldnt have had a friend live there, i would have been alone...I was more happy being by myself then being with him. Then when we got back together the negative in me came back out. I was a happy, positive person without him for the year that we werent together. I just need to find myself again. Because i bought into that..im a changed person thing and people change sometimes..but he didnt change..and i told him before hand i wasnt going to change. I did end up changing, being all about him again..deleting numbers out of my phone, because he felt threatened by them. I just need to find me again. Just depressing at the begining and scary..but i will get over it and move on. On the other note..Its my friends who dont want the 3rd wheel and my best friend in the world is in a crappy marriage and her husband is a jackass. He doesnt want her to have friends..but she has to be friends with his friends wives..depressing..makes me depressed to be around the situation. The my other friends in town..their boyfriends live out of town..one lives 3 hours away..so they spend the weekends alone and the other ones lives over an hour away..so her weekends are filled with him too..thats the only thing that sucks! If they didnt live so far away it wouldnt be so bad. Then i'd go out with them. But i feel they need their times together on the weekend if its the only time they have together.