Boy, did I mess up

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2006
Boy, did I mess up
2
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 12:04am
I was dating a guy for 5 months until August of last year. He disappeared off the face of the earth and I was heartbroken for 5 months. I really could not get over this guy because I was totally in love with him, and he just stopped calling me one day. After getting through the holidays, I decided to text him & told him he's been on my mind. He wrote back that I had been on his mind too, and left me a voicemail message that said he wanted to hang out that night & go out to dinner....we ended up talking on the phone for about a week, then started dating again. I told him how I felt about him and was a little scared he would hurt me again. I forgot about his heavy drinking habits, and his roving eye when we went out. He would accuse me of being uptight and not dressing the way he liked, which was in low cut tops and short skirts. Anyhow, the whole thing became a rollercoaster ride, and he was very up and down. He liked to go out and drink on the weekends, and during the week we wouldn't talk much because he always seemed depressed. About 2 months in to dating, I knew it wasn't going to work out. He would take me out and introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend, then 2 weeks later when someone he hardly knew would ask if I was his girlfriend, he just stared at me. We got in a fight that night and broke up shortly after. He sent me a text saying he wished we could just be friends. I was fine with that. Then 2 weeks later he calls me on Easter from his parents house, saying if I think we should marry, I should speak to his mom. So I spoke to his mom for 15 minutes then he said he was watching a movie & would call me later. I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks and sent him texts with a piece of my mind. He spoke of us getting back together, him taking me to his friends wedding, & made other plans. A week after that, which was last weekend, he told me he dumped me because I was overweight & had a bad personality, but a really pretty face. I am about 15 lbs. overweight & he made me feel self concious about it all the time. I have to say, that is the worst thing I have ever heard from a guy. I asked him why he told me this whole time we were dating that he was in love with me, wanted to marry & have kids, and then had me speak to his mom after we broke up because I thought we should marry. He said it was because he lies when he drinks and he's got problems. Needless to say, that trainwreck is over.....I've been all shook up about it for the last couple days, but I guess what happened was for the best, because I know I can never go back to this really bad person. Talk about wrecking someone's self esteem. Also, I am 34 & American, he is 33 & is Latin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 12:28pm
Why are you saying you messed up? This guy is a drinker, emotionally unstable, put you down and wants you to dress like a slut. You should be celebrating the fact that this creep is out of you life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2006
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 12:58am
I meant I went back to him after 5 months of no contact. I thought I was in love with him and missed him horribly. As we hung out these past few months I saw how aweful he could be, but it really hurt that he said he broke up with me because I'm fat. I am very self concious about that. AND he said I had a bad personality because I wasn't the life of the party like he was. I am over him at least, there is no going back to that one, even though I thought I was madly in love with him when the times were good. I don't know why I have to go through these things. I thought he was a nice guy.