Boyfriend broke up with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Boyfriend broke up with me
6
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 7:28pm
My boyfriend broke up with me last Thursday and I can't seem to stop crying. All he said was he didn't think it was going to work out and needed some time. His friend called me today and said he gave him my house key and the cell phone I bought for him to give back to me. I called him, he is supposed to call me back tonight. I want to try and talk him out of this, I love him so much and he told me he loves me too, why isn't that enough to try and make this relationship work. It was great, we would do everything together and had so much fun, this is such a shock to me. Any advice would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:56pm
Welcome to the board...although I wish it were under better circumstances. I know trying to talk him out of the break-up is a normal thing to want to do....but I would advise against it. Your bf has his reasons for breaking it off....whether he's voiced those reasons or not and trying to change his mind may backfire and just push him further away. He's made his choice and you need to try and respect it, even if you don't agree with it. If he's made the wrong choice, he'll learn that soon enough and he'll know how to reach you if he changes his mind. Good luck and keep us posted no matter what you decide to do. We're always here if you need someone to talk to or just to listen....post as often as you like and we'll try to help as best we can.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 12:06am
I called him tonight and he wasn't home. Talked to his roommate though, apparently he didn't even tell him he broke it off with me. He said he wanted time - it's been a week and I desperatly need to talk to him. I thought I would call him at work tommorrow and see if he will come over to talk, I'm sure that is probably a really bad idea but I want to see him so badly. I also have some seahawks tixs I bought for him which he knows about and am wondering how it is going to look if I give them to him. I still want him to have them but we were supposed to go together, I don't want to go without him. Thanks for your help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:29am
DON'T CALL HIM! It is so normal to want to figure things out, talk to him, see him, etc. But trust me, from personal experiences... it makes things SO much worse. Think about it... you are chasing him. If he wanted to talk or work things out... he would be calling you. But he is not. A relationship will only work if both of you want the same thing. And if he does not want the same thing that you want, you will be pushing him away by forcing him to talk about it.

If he wants things to change, then he will come around. I know it is so hard to accept that... but you have to think of yourself. I used to keep setting myself up for situations where I would just get hurt again. Its not worth it. If it was meant to be, then it will be... but you cannot press the issue. Give it some time. You need time to deal with your pain. He needs some time to see if he misses you... he won't miss you if you are always calling him.

Keep yourself busy doing things that make you happy. I know you are going through a hard time, but stay strong. I think almost everyone here would agree that No Contact really does work best.

Best of luck to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:40pm
I called him today. He is supposed to come over tonight so we can talk. I'm not expecting anything, just really hoping.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 8:46am
just read your discussion and wanted to see what happened when he came over.
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 12:55pm
I am sorry for your suffering. It's been eight days since you last posted. How are you doing now? Did you get to talk to him? Have you gotten back together again?