On a Break

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
On a Break
1
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 8:22am

I'm new here. My BF and I are 7 days in to a "break to clear our heads". We've been together for 2+ years, friends for 5 before we started dating. The issue? My 7 year old son. He has ADHD, just diagnosed this year. He is the hyper, loud, break everything kid you imagine when you hear the word ADHD.
My BF has a 6 year old son who could not be more well behaved, quiet, and careful.
Talk of our future has pushed us to the point of breaking. We love each other very much, and if no kids were involved would be living together already I'm sure. We are compatible in every way. But our children are not. And my son drives him crazy. His fears are that if we lived together, my son would have everything broken. He's afraid because he has a lot of guns and hunting knives, and would fear my son would touch them because he is so impulsive. He thinks that he would not be able to handle him, and that it would not be fair to my son, and hurt our relationship. And the kicker, his son made a comment to him that he didn't like it when my son came over, because his toys get broken every time.
All very straight up and logical, and if we weren't so perfect for each other, I'd walk away without thinking. So I asked him to give it 6 more months, my son just started on Meds and things are getting better, and he asked me for a break to clear his head. This was after he spent a weekend with his family, and got depressed thinking that because of the way my son is, we could never do anything like that together.
I'm very up and down, but have not called him. One minute, thinking that he just plain doesn't love me enough. Then the next, when my son is in a bad moment and I barely like him even though I love him, can't blame anyone for not wanting to live with this if they don't have to.
I don't know. I'm very much thinking this will be the end of us. He's too scared, and unwilling to make an effort. And I am heartbroken :(

Thanks for listening

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: cantforgethim
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 12:09pm

Welcome to the board cantforgethim,


Take this time to really work on the issues with your son.