Break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Break up
1
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 6:49pm

My on again off again boyfriend of 6 years calls me last night after 5 days of not speaking to me wanting to know if things between us were over.
I didnt know what i was supposed to say, so i asked what he thought, and he told me he was done being in our relationship.. and he said goodbye like he really meant it for good.
Of course, ive been text messaging him all day, trying to get him to talk to me... but he just ignores it, or dont reply for whatever reason.
I know things are over, they havent been great for a while now. Ive spent six years of my life with this man thinking i was going to marry him someday. Sure we have our share of problems... i still want to work on our issues. I love him.
Right now im ready to chase him down the street to get him to talk to me, but i know he is upset and the more i push, the less likely he will want to talk.

I have no clue how to get over him. He is friends with every single person in the world i speak to, so i dont have a lot of people to lean on right now.

He has asked for space before, but we have always gotten back together... and i hope that this is jsut another one of those times.. but i dont have a good feeling.
I really just want to crawl into a hole and cry for days, but life doesnt allow for that.
There are so many pieces to pick up.. i know i will miss a few... our lives were very tied together, things are very lonely.
Thanks for reading... I hope things get better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2005
In reply to: jennh1978
Sat, 09-10-2005 - 1:07am

There is one thing I can say for certain, and that is that things will get better. The initial shock of a breakup is the worst part, in my opinion... It is so hard when you have feelings for someone who doesn't have the same feelings toward you; or there are just too many other conflicts for a relationship to be fesiable. And, of course, the longer you've been with someone, the more red tape there seems to be.

But, you will get through this! Sure you and your ex have a lot of mutual friends; but there must be at least one friend or family member who you can lean on for support. If you don't have friends or family, you have the people here on this board, who are all going thorugh the same thing you are. We've all been there; it is rough, but you will get through.

I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but if you can, instead of thinking and worring about your ex, focus that energy back into yourself. If you don't work out regularly start working out (it will reduce your stress and make you feel better), take up a forgotten hobby, reconnect with old friends... Doing things like that will not only help you to heal from your breakup more quickly, but they will also make you look that much more appealing when you are ready to re-enter the dating scene.

I think a lot of people forget that heartache, while certainly unpleasant, is simply a part of life. Without it very few of us would recognize a truly great relationship when we find one! Just stay positive, and come to this board when you need support!

Those are just my thoughts and suggestions, but I hope they help a little!