"On a break" -- advice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
"On a break" -- advice??
20
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 2:36pm

Me and my boyfriend were together over a year. I'm in college and hes at home working. Weve made it through an entire semester fine so far with me here and him there. He visits me and I visit him. For about a week we fought over stupid silly things so I went home to see him. Things became perfect again, or so i thought. I asked to see him on Sunday and he PROMISED me he would. Apparently he promised his best friend also...and chose the Best friend. And then didnt understand why I was so upset. He told me we needed to "take a break" because he needed to figure out his life and apparently me going out and being here was more stress because he always worries I'll find someone else. I was heart broken, here I was thinking everything was perfect again only to get a bomb dropped on me.
HERES the annoying part::

he tells me he still misses me, tells me he wants to work things out, tells me he wants to be with me more then anything and wants to fix us so badly....and then the next day he says he cant take this worrying.

This was our first weekend we were on a break ( we started Sunday Feb. 3rd ) and he STILL worried...even though apparently the point of this was so he wudnt.

he says he never got a break because we talk all the time...so what should i do? cut off all connection until he misses me ?

i have to go home this weekend (its valentines day which makes it so much harder to have to go home and not have a boyfriend) ... so should i see him!?

ive never been on a break before so i have no idea what to do or say to him. I wanna be with him so badly and i miss him so much, I miss talking to him and seeing him and everythign and its only been a week. How much harder is this going to be?!

can someone please offer some advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 3:07pm

Its always hard= but it gets better. My advice to you is to give him his space, its what he asked for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 3:15pm

Welcome to the board dee288,


::so what should i do? cut off all connection until he misses me ?


Yep, that's what you do. Give him exactly what he asked for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2008
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 9:37am

I agree with lovergirl, dee288 u r young still in college

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 5:09pm

we were together for a year and a half, so i did have its serious qualities -- but i know i am still young so who knows

thanks everyone for the advice...
but one more question? should i just ignore him? like when he calls or when he texts or IMs me? idk what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 6:22pm

dee dee


I am also in college and just ended a 3 year relationship- I tell you this because I can relate to what you are feeling. My advice to give him his space, is very founded.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2008
Tue, 02-12-2008 - 6:47pm

hi dee,


ok girl, only you know what your relationship was like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 4:59pm

ughgh i broke all the rules! haha well not really rules but i did everything i shudnt have
he called last night and i picked up
we talked about "us"
hes still confused
and i got upset again
and then i texted him this morning

what the hell am i doing?! how can i stop and just get over this and let him have his "space" to figure us out???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2008
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 5:43pm

Oh sweetie, I know you can't help ur self, but now that u know where

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 12:06am

i know i know everyone makes so much sense! And honestly if this was happening to one of my friends I would be saying "what the hell is wrong with you for staying with this idiot when you can and should do so much better!" i know i dont deserve this crap, in the bottom of my heart I know I deserve someone who WANTS to be with me, who trusts me, who cant wait to talk to me or see me when I come home....and for the longest time that WAS him...and then something changed. I know I shouldn't put up with this, I know I shouldn't be upset he PROBABLY won't spend valentines day with me even though i bought him a present 2 weeks ago (since im at school i had to plan ahead) i know all of this, and I know I would be telling myself to walk away and forget about him

but i cant! its too hard, i know im miserable without him and i keep thinking back to all the good times and all the loving things hes said to me and about me...even when i think of the bad times i still miss him! theres something wrong with me -- i just want him to be what he was a month ago, a year ago...anything but the person he turned into...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 7:38am

Dee


re-read your own post. You want him the WAY HE WAS. You admitted something changed- therefore the relationship is not what it was


I read on this board I believe, that when we break up, we many times put our ex's on a pedestal.

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