"On a break" -- advice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
"On a break" -- advice??
20
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 2:36pm

Me and my boyfriend were together over a year. I'm in college and hes at home working. Weve made it through an entire semester fine so far with me here and him there. He visits me and I visit him. For about a week we fought over stupid silly things so I went home to see him. Things became perfect again, or so i thought. I asked to see him on Sunday and he PROMISED me he would. Apparently he promised his best friend also...and chose the Best friend. And then didnt understand why I was so upset. He told me we needed to "take a break" because he needed to figure out his life and apparently me going out and being here was more stress because he always worries I'll find someone else. I was heart broken, here I was thinking everything was perfect again only to get a bomb dropped on me.
HERES the annoying part::

he tells me he still misses me, tells me he wants to work things out, tells me he wants to be with me more then anything and wants to fix us so badly....and then the next day he says he cant take this worrying.

This was our first weekend we were on a break ( we started Sunday Feb. 3rd ) and he STILL worried...even though apparently the point of this was so he wudnt.

he says he never got a break because we talk all the time...so what should i do? cut off all connection until he misses me ?

i have to go home this weekend (its valentines day which makes it so much harder to have to go home and not have a boyfriend) ... so should i see him!?

ive never been on a break before so i have no idea what to do or say to him. I wanna be with him so badly and i miss him so much, I miss talking to him and seeing him and everythign and its only been a week. How much harder is this going to be?!

can someone please offer some advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2008
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 10:16am

news flash, he was always like that, he never changed. He just never showed you that side of him before.


NOw, you r currently walking through a field of dreams and that is why you can't not get him out ur mind. That is normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 12:33pm
Welcome to the board nina0301 and thanks for participating.




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 12:38pm

Make a list of all the 'bad' things and re-read them to yourself often.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 10:42am

OMG. so on valentines day i broke up with him officially. THENNNNNNN he called me the next day saying he wanted to be with me but we needed to work on trust issues -- so fine. were on a break again. i go out last night he goes out last night. im a MORON and call him at 1:30am to say goodnight....he NEVER calls back.

so anyway, i have his facebook password and i know i know i shouldnt. but i check his facebook and he messaged this girl at 2:17Am saying "hey we shud chill sometime my number is 000-000-0000 call me or text me"

WHAT THE HELL.

please please please i know this shuold be an eye opener...but is he friggen serious?!!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 10:47am

Is it an eye-opener?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 10:34pm

You know its time to let go. Don't torture yourself with this anymore.


Yes, it is *hard!!!!!* to let go completely, but you will be that much better for it!!!! I truly understand, it is a *battle* to not contact my ex of 2 weeks -- but it *does* get easier!! I promise! And ya know, the hardest day (for me anyway) has already passed - Valentine's!


Some good things to do:


hang out with the friends you didn't see as much when you were with him - you know, the more you focus on other people, the less you focus on him.


get involved in a 'project'.. if you're artsy, start a painting for a friend, or your mom, or someone who's always been there for ya.


Or maybe just write like crazy in a journal. Somehow, having it there, and having the real emotions you are feeling *right now* down on paper... makes it easier to look back in a few weeks and say "wow. he treated me like crap. I remember how hurt I was when...", rather than, "oh, we had such good memories together".


Ultimately, you want to *only* remember the good times. But its important to remember how

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 4:40pm

i knoo but im being tortured by facebook.

he called me 8 times last night and texted me probably like 15. i didnt answer anything. then this morning he signs online and says "hey baby im going out but text me today cuz i miss you" then he goes right into "is this guy that commented your facbeook just a friend" YES OF COURSE WEVE BEEN ON A BREAK FOR 2 WEEKS U THINK IM DATING ALREADY?!?!? THENNNN i get home and on HIS facebook some bitch left a comment "um so the i <3 (assholes name) you wrote on my hand isnt coming off" are u f**king kidding me? here i am thinking maybe hes trying, maybe he cares a little -- and nope hes out writing his name in hearts on girls hands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sun, 02-17-2008 - 7:42pm
can you temporarily block him from facebook if that is what is torturing you? A break is stressful enough without added outside interference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 2:27am

HELP!

on wednesday my boyfriend drove up to visit another girl at her college (an hour and a half away) -- even tho theyre just friends. i flipped out and ended everything that night. i had been thru so much crap and been hurt by him so much this month i couldnt take it anymore. thursday night i went out with my friends and there was a cute boy there who asked for my number so i gave it to him (self esteem boost after a sh!tty ending to an amazing relatinoship) anyway the boy texts me that night and says it was really nice meeting me and all that stuff - the next night we had a party in our dorm nd invited him and 2 of his friends. i got really drunk and ended up making out with him...the next day he texted me saying he wanted to chill so we hung out and talked and stuff and hes really sweet and funny. then that night we went to a bar nd danced. he texts me all sweet things like "how are u?" "are you upset today?" "hey cutie" "im missin you" like really really sweet things - i know its stupid cuz i met him last week tho. this weekend was SOOO funn i was able to chll with my friends, do what i wanted, and not have to check in every hour

THEN my ex calls me up saturday night and was CRYING telling me he missed me nd how things wud change he wud fix things blah blah blah. i told him i hooked up with the kid and he FLIPPED out saying that i needed to get back together with him right that minute.

i told him i needed time to think and to clear my head because the last month was hard for me and he says if i really loved him and really cared about him i would take him back and we could be happy again

WHAT DO I DO
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME I NEED ADVICE!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 6:58am

I suspect you know what most of us will tell you to do.

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