Break up Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Break up Help!
2
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 12:12pm

I really need some advice, Heres my story

My boyfriend cheated on me and got another women pregnant,This all started in August the other women came to my home mad because he was with me after telling her he did not have a girlfriend. I went crazy with this situation. So since August I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I will admit that I have been stupid by still dealing with him. We have a 9 month old child together. We are not together but I have still been sexual with him ( dumb me). Now I had told him he had until Dec 31 to get his act together if he wanted to be a family. Because he is always saying how sorry he is and how he knows he really messed up and wants to be with. I love him but I can't except the fact that he is having another child, I always tell him that we have nothing so he should get it out his head. Then when he calls me up and asks to take me out or spend time with me and the baby I say Yes, I realize that I only do that to get the other women mad. (childish I know) Its hard for me to let go because just when I think I am strong enough I start breaking down. He is a great father but obvisouly not a good boyfriend.

What should I do to try and make myself feel a little better?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
In reply to: yani27
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 12:44pm

Sorry...it's an ugly situation. Sounds like you're at least recognizing that he isn't fit to be your boyfriend. One thing you must STOP now is:

"Then when he calls me up and asks to take me out or spend time with me and the baby I say Yes, I realize that I only do that to get the other women mad."

Stop using your child in any way, shape or form as some sort of game piece on a chess board in order to capture your boyfriend's time away from your opponent (the other woman). She was lied to and deceived just like you and is in just as ugly a situation as you are. If anything, you two ought to team up and be friends and help one another by kicking that wretch of a man out of both your lives! Your child is going to grow up terribly confused being used in this manner, so knock it off. If the "father" wants time with his child, it should be under circumstances where your presence won't interfere. This might be difficult while the child is very young, and certainly don't do it if he can't be trusted to be a good guardian on his own. Maybe you can arrange to drop the child off at a neutral location for an hour or two while you go shopping.

This guy is an absolute loser and the sooner you cut him out of your life the better. Drop any fantasies about this guy being a family man unless you want a lifetime of this sort of irresponsibility, lying, cheating and betrayal. Better your child grow up fatherless than with an example like that darkening your doorway. Get yourself squared away by concentrating on your own education and career so your baby will have at least one example in his life that is worth respecting. Good luck...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: yani27
Thu, 12-23-2004 - 1:05pm
Welcome to the board!
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