Break up hurting my friendships

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Break up hurting my friendships
2
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 9:50pm

I'm having a problem, and any advice is greatly appreciated.


My boyfriend broke up with me a while ago, and the relationship was set up by our mutual best friend. The relationship is over now, and I've started dating someone else. He broke up with me to date someone else, so he's obviously moved on too.


I felt and still feel very betrayed by the way the relationship ended, and I don't have any desire to try to be best friends with my ex. I don't hate him, and I don't mind spending time around him now and then, but I don't see any reason to go out of my way to put myself in a painful situation by being around him and his new interest all the time.


The problem is, our mutual friend doesn't understand my feelings, and actually acts very angry when I say I don't want to hang out with him. I understand she feels torn, but I've made it clear I understand if she just wants to hang out with him sometime. If I don't feel like doing it, I'll say so, but I don't think she should act mad at me about it.


This isn't the only problem. I'm really enjoying the time I spend with the new guy in my life (I've had a crush on him for years), but my friend seems upset that I've moved on and want to be around someone new. She doesn't act happy for me or seem interested like she has in the past.


In a lot of ways, even though he broke up with me, I feel like my friend still wants me to spend my time pining away for him.


I've talked to her about it, and told her how I feel like I'm being left out because of the break up, but she doesn't seem willing to cut me any slack. Am I being too unrealistic in wanting a little space from my ex now and then without catching grief from my friend about it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 12:01am

Hi,


::I've talked to her about it, and told her how I feel like I'm being left out because of the break up, but she doesn't seem willing to cut me any slack. Am I being too unrealistic in wanting a little space from my ex now and then without catching grief from my friend about it?




You are not being unrealistic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 12:27am

Your friend is being very inconsiderate of your feelings and if you have to explain to her your standing on this, she's not going to get it.


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs