The breaker upper to be....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
The breaker upper to be....
8
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 12:33am

I am in a sticky situation and I know this group is geared more towrds people who have been broken up with but I have to break up with my current boyfriend and thought that maybe you could lend an ear and some advice.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 12:35am
Sorry one more thing to add....i know this is going to seem so sudden to him...like everything was fine on minute and not the next bc i have been acting normal...should i wait and do it gradually or just cold turkey tell him like tomorrow? ugh AND he gave me a digital camera for xmas and was thinking that when i go to get my stuff from his place that i should give it back to him...out of respect..so he doesnt think i'm just bailing and taking this amazing gift he gave me (mind you i got him presents but it wasnt one huge thing).
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 3:07pm

Anyone...please?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 3:59pm

I think the best way to do it is to rip off the bandage so to speak--get it overwith rather than dragging it out.


And I would only discuss your feelings about him, not bring your ex into it at all.


My feeling on returning gifts is that it's about the most tacky, hurtful thing you can do to someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 5:10pm

Welcome

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2008
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 5:57pm

Thanks ladies! My thoughts about returning the gift were that i didnt want him to think i used him or anything...but you're right..it probably would seem tacky. Anywho, I spoke to him on the phone today and he asked me if there was something wrong b/c he had a 'bad feeling' but i had to say no nothing wrong because i couldn't bare to tell him over the phone (even though that would be the easy thing to do...it would be too disrepectful). I will definitely leave the ex out of it and I suppose I will tell him tomorrow because I am supposed to go to his place. Thanks again :(


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 6:37pm
I understand not wanting to do it over the phone, but to dismiss his 'bad feeling' and lie that everything is fine, is not a good feeling.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 7:20pm

hi,


I've just come out of a similar situation minus the complicated add on of your ex that you may still be interested in.


Basically I went out with a guy for about 7 months.. the nicest guy i have ever dated and we had soooooo much in common.. but, the spark was just not there and if i'm really honest, it was never there from the beginning. It has taken me a long time of soul searching to get to the point where i decided this was good enough reason to end our relationship. It has only been a week since we broke up and I'm missing him a lot and I know he is doing worse because he was very much in love with me.


Like you i tried to finish things earlier but was always talked around by him.. The sex life thing was also a problem and i totally relate to the feeling bored feeling which is really not what you should be having when you are generally attracted to someone and really into them.. you are probably like me and have a great deep friendship with your boyfriend but it's not love without that attraction and spark. I spent a while worrying about whether there was something wrong with me i.e my libido or inability to love someone back! but i don't think this is the case. We also booked flights for a holiday a few days before we broke up

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2007
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 8:06am

As hard as it is, be honest with him. It'll do him more good in the end to not be left wondering.