Breaking up from abusive relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Breaking up from abusive relationship
3
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 5:04pm
This is the hardest thisng to do, even though I am the one who did the breaking up. I havent talked to him since Tuesday. He was never physically abusive, just verbal. We had been together for one year and seven months. I knew the relationship was doomed from the beginning, but my denial thought i could change him. I have been seeing a therapist now two times a week, which really helps. I also have rekinndled friendships that I had to let go of while being with him. My counselor says he has all the red flags for being a huge danger to me and i know this, but I can't stop thinking about him everyday. I obsesivlly check his bank accounts online to see what he is doing, (mostly to see if he is still drinking). And it was so hard for me to get out of this relationship because i knew i would be so depressed. I know I am not gonna go back to him ever again, but a part of me subconsiouslly dosent accept that. It is so hard, i miss all the good things we had, but all the bad also crosses that out. The hardest thing is that after i broke it off he doesnt call me at all, which i thought he would be doing constantly, common for abusers. But he hasn't and I am afraid he is gonna do it this upcoming week because he knows my parents will be out of town. By the way I am 22 and he is 21. Im scared what will happen, if he is gonna try and manipulate me while i am weak. I just need some helpful advice because I feel like this is gonna last forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 7:55pm

Welcome to the board bblue351351,


Get as much support as you can from family and friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 10:27pm

Hi. Just wanted to say that you are very brave and you will get though this. I am in a slightly similar situation-my ex was not abusive but he did drink excessively which lead to the breakup. It's so hard because it doesn't erase the love but it does make for an impossibly unhealthy relationship. You are so strong to have ended it. i agree with carrie, get support from people around you (therapy is great!) and keep working on yourself.

Big big hugs. We will make it. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 6:37am

Dear Blue-


I was in an emotionally & verbally abusive relationship

seachells