Breaking up and staying friends?
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Breaking up and staying friends?
| Fri, 10-28-2005 - 8:26am |
I had been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years when he broke up with me on monday. We were each others first loves, and we lost our virginity to each other. We were best friends before we went out. We are 18 and came to the same city for uni in september so we could be near each another. He says he wishes he hadn't hurt me but we fought too much and it was making him unhappy, so he just wants to be single for a while and focus on his studies. I am heartbroken. I saw him on wednesday and he comforted me in a way that none of my friends are ever able to. He just knows how to make me feel safe. He hugged me, kissed my forehead and lay on top of me because he knows how safe it makes me feel and I told him I was scared. He says he wants us to be friends, best friends even. He said we have 3 choices, lose each other completely which he said would be very sad, be what he calls 'crap friends' or a normal friendship, or be best friends 'like us'. We still care about each other alot. I still love him, he says he does love me but not enough to be unhappy, and he never meant to do this but now he can't go back on it. He hates how upset he's made me. He cried went he thought we wouldn't stay friends or that I hated him. I cry all the time. Tomorrow he's coming over for lunch to discuss everythign and see where we stand, he says its my decision whether I can be his friend but he really hopes we can be. I don't know what to say. It'll be very hard to see him but I think it will be equally hard not to. And he's been the person I'm closest to for so many years. Also he has a little brother who's 2 and a half who I would miss terribly, I love him like my own sibling and I'd hate to never see him grow up. I know that sounds weird but its true. I don't want my ex to not be a part of my life, I care about him and his family too much. But is it possible to stay friends with someone you still love? Has anyone does this? Can I get over him if he's still around? He said maybe we'll get back together one day but not now, and nothing is definate.

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For some people it's really difficult to let go of their first love, the attachment to the person and all that they represent in your life.
I totally agree with post #11 from mdrsfr.
Carrie
Take care,
Issa
Thanks for your reply Issa. I feel the same way you do. But I don't know that I will want to be friends with my ex even when I do get over all of this stuff. I feel that maybe if I see him or talk to him, my feelings will come back and since he doesn't have them for me, it would be a disaster. You see, I've never in my life stayed friends with an ex boyfriend. What makes this even harder to get over, is that I feel like it's my fault.
Thanks again for your response. It's nice to know at least that I'm not alone.
Lina in NC
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