Breaking up around Valentines Day

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Breaking up around Valentines Day
9
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 5:42pm

My BF and I are in our second

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 12:17pm
Always go with your gut feelings. Our instincs seldom stir us wrong. You should have a long talk with him face-to-face, look in his eyes and ask him if his seeing someone else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 4:40pm
Do you really think you'll have a good time on an overnight trip? If all these feelings in you are building up you might not have so much fun on the trip anyways. I know from experience. Let me tell you, i was crazy about my boyfriend but his behavior prior to our hawaii vacation made me so bitter that the trip was not very newlywed like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 5:29pm

Welcome to the board bluegoddess67,


No time is a good time to break up with someone. If you go away on the trip, then break up, he may feel used.


::He keeps saying that he's trying to give our relationship a chance - but then he acts suspicious and exhibits unusual behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 7:17pm

There's just never a "good" time to break up. The whole thing sucks which is a one major reason people put off breakups. You can choose your timing carefully, but there will always be something else that you've planned, some particular date or event that will provide a convenient excuse to not go through with it. That's the follow-on reason people stay in relationships far longer than they should. It's very wuss-like behavior. Don't be a wuss. ;-)

Regardless of my possible input on showing him trust and how your hurt and betrayed-by-breakup mindset is actually feeding you the suspicous thoughts on his behavior, you already know what you want to do, so do it.

You can, be strong.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 7:24pm

Hi Carrie, et al,


To clarify:


We're both in our 40's, and at this point, not looking

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 12:06am

from my experience, the longer there's a problem and no changes are being made, the worse it gets. i agree with everyone that you know what to do and you should follow your gut instinct.


you said he's been listening to you and respecting what you have to say, but the late-night emails and stuff like that sound fishy. :-/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 10:55am
honestly, in my opinion, breakups happen when they should.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2005
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 1:58pm

Eh, I disagree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 8:53pm

tigerlily~

You are spot on!!

I would rather be alone on V-day and possibly be a little sad than be with my ex-boyfriend and definitely be sad. Actually, if were still together, I would be wondering if he was even going to acknowledge Valentine's Day at all. I am not glad I am alone but I feel better by myself than when I was with him when I was always looking for a crumb of appreciation or a sign he cared about me. It is such a relief not to be wondering and obsessing every day!

Oh and today, I bought myself a very small heart shaped box of chocolates, a bottle of my favorite wine and a facial mask. I am going to have a GREAT Valentine's Day with someone I love. Me.

PS: Five weeks since we broke up. Yeah, it hurts and it stinks.... but I am feeling a tiny bit better every single day.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.