breaking up because of kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
breaking up because of kids
2
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 8:01am

Help. Advice needed. Heres our situation. I am 45, have 2 kids at home from my previous marriage. BF is 47, has 3 kids at home part time from previous marriage. We do well together until the kids are mixed in. Mine hate him and cant stand being around him. I hate to say this but he kind of earned that because he does not know how to act around teenagers. His kids love me and I love them but I hate bieng around him with them. He is their slave and likes being that way. Plus he babies them a lot and that just drives me nuts. They are 9 and 7 and he still serves them out of sippy cups, bathes them and does everything for them like he is a servant to royalty. That drives me nuts too as I have my kids do chores around the house and be responsible.


He asked me to marry him and buy a house with him. I said yes and tentatively we have planned on August. But I dont want to make my kids live with a person they hate and I dont look forward to living with him and his kids. If it were just he and I would be ok. But add kids and it is hell. Honestly I would like to put the marriage plans on hold until our kids are grown and just go back to being his girlfriend and not fiancee. But that would kill us. He is so intent on marrying and the sooner the better. I think he feels like once we are married there is no way I could back out and we would be stuck together to work things out for better or worse.


So my question is should we go ahead with marriage plans knowing its going to be hell at least for the first couple of years or should I end it now and move on?


All advice is greatly appreciated.


Laurie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 12:44pm

Welcome to the board -


Sippy cups?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 3:28pm

OMG, no do not marry him at this point.

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