Breaking up with a Friend
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| Thu, 09-09-2004 - 9:17am |
We had a blast together...movies, walks, talking. We talked about the holidays, and going camping. I had never had such a connection with someone so quickly or so intensely. We complimented each other so well and were both amazed at how comfortable we were talking about anything and everything. He was still upset over his ex and we talked a lot about her and I helped him work through his emotions. Everything was going fine.
We would often spend the night at each other’s houses, and sleep in the same bed, but not have sex. We both knew that was a little beyond the friendship aspect, but just liked being together. I loved waking up next to him. A few days ago, we were hanging out as his place after work and usually I would just stay over. He seemed different, almost like he didn’t want me to stay (maybe it was all in my head). So I left and normally it wouldn’t have bothered me, but for some reason I felt so rejected and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I had fallen for him.
He was no longer a friend to me, but someone I had strong feelings for. I cried the whole way home and cried myself to sleep that night. He called me to say good night, as he always does, and knew something was wrong. I lied and told him everything was fine. The next day was miserable for me. I called him during the day and told him I wanted to talk to him that night, but of course, the whole story came out and I told him that I couldn’t just be friends with him anymore and that I had feelings for him. I told him I didn’t know how it happened but I couldn’t change it. I felt so stupid and so vulnerable. I mean, how could I not see this was happening?
I called my close friends, all whom have met him, and they couldn’t believe I didn’t know. It was crazy, like a dream spiraling out of control! We talked later that night, and he still wants to see me, as friends. He says I am a part of his life too and doesn’t want to lose me completely and that not seeing me would hurt him. I want more and it’s killing me to see him or talk to him knowing that he doesn’t feel the same way. He has become such a part of my life, that I can’t imagine a day without talking to him. I feel so lost. If I continue to see him as friends, my feelings are only going to intensify and I am going to get hurt worse. If I stop the friendship now, I am hurting both of us. I am just so confused and could really use some advice. Thanks.

Good luck. I have been able to reconnect as friends in a couple of cases, so don't assume all is lost.
Sheri