breaking up is harder than being dumped
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| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 6:04pm |
ahhh its so hard to say what im feeling. but i really need to let this out.
its been about 4 weeks since i broke up wiht my boyfriend of 5 months.
i still loved him and i never felt like that before with someone. Usually the word i love you doesn't come out of my mouth until i really mean it. and i said i love you to him a million times.
So why did i break up wiht him?
It came out of nowhere. We were doing fine and we were having so much fun with eachother we always partied together and hung out as much as we could. He always wanted to hang out with me and i always wanted to hang out iwth him.
Things were amazing, my life was better than ever. He made me smile he made me laugh.
Then the weekend came up for our 5 months. I thought that we were going to spend the whole weekend together, since it was the big 5 months. It didn't end up that way..
I texted him and asked him if he wanted to hang out on friday (our 5 months was sat.)He then sent back, "im going out with the parents for dinner right now and im really tired formt track so ill see when i get back if im not too tired." I didn't really think much of it because he does go out with his parents to din alot and he does have track practice everyday and he did have such a busy schedule with SAT tutoring and basketball and everything. So i just went out with my friends and went partying.
Next day was our 5 month. I was so excited the whole day, i woke up that day and all i could think of was how much fun we were going to have that night. So i text'd him around 4 because his sat tutoring was from 9-2 that day so i gave him some time to take a nap and whatever. And i said "hey babe what ya doing today". He sent back " well im doing homeowkr right now and then later im going to go play basketball. Then i sent back "oh ok well do you want to hang out today" and then he said " maybe later when i hang out with my friends." This does not sound liek him at all. Then i sort of sent a kinda mean text like " oh ok well do you want to hang out tonight or what because ill just make other plans if not" and he said "woah don't get mad maybe later tonight." So its already 10:30 and he hasn't called or anything yet. So i asked him if we were going to hang out tonight because its already late and he said hes at a restaraunt with his friends. And then we got into a fight and he hasn't even mentioned that it was our 5 months. SO i said happy 5 months and he said happy 5 months too and then i said i was being sarcastic and he siad he knew and hes just so stressed out and stuff. Then he sent a long text message saying how busy he was from basketball and everything and how stressed out and that he didn't want me to be in a bad relationship. And then we cann all guess where that ended up in.
I think we need a break, not breaking up just some time so i can sort all my s h i t.
thats what he said. And yes it was in a text message.
Right after that i just cried till my eyes couldn't cry anymore. I loved him so much. I mean i even lost my virginity to him. And after all we've been through, he said he wanted a break on a text message.
So i went through wiht the break for about a week and a few days. Those were the worst days of my life. We go to the same school and we even have a calss together. YEt he didn't say one word to me or even look at me. You can imagine how heartbroken i was.
I couldn't deal with it anymore and htne i heard he wanted to hook up with another girl so i decided that i had to do it. I didn't even want to break up with him, it was the hardest thing to do but i couldn't risk it.
So right before class ended i went up to him and i was like can i talk to you and he said sure, he looked kind of confused. Thne i said it i told him that i didn't like the idea of the break and how could we get back together if you're not even talking to me or looking at me. I tried to hint that it was all because of the break and if you wnated to cancel the break then forget about this but all he said was "is that what you really want". THat was it he didn't argue or anything he just asked if it was what i really wanted, so i just said yes.
PLeaseeee help me its been about 4 weeks since that and i still can't forget about him. I mean another guys are triyng to hook up wiht me and everything but i just can't, i miss him too much. Pleaseeee tell me what to do because i can't stand this anymore.

You sound young. Are you still in high school, or are you in college? Losing your first love really hurts a lot. I can still remember the pain of losing my first love and it was nearly 26 years ago!
You are probably a bright, pretty girl with a great future ahead of you. Do the best you can to forget him for now. It sounds like he just doesn't want to be with you for whatever reason. It may not even have anything to do with you. The pain does go away after some time. You will smile again.
Keep yourself busy. Use the free time to go out with friends, read, do special things for yourself, spend time with your family, start thinking about what you want to do when you get out of school, plan your life!
It does stop hurting. I promise. Even though it seems like it will hurt forever, each day that goes by you will feel better and better. Just let him go.
i'm assuming your so young is that right? well onething i could tell YOU HAVE LONG WAY TO GO DEAR AND YOUR JOURNEY JUST BARELY STARTED...YOU MIGHT EXPERIENCE MORE WORST THAN THIS TRUST ME. BUT WILL ALL OF THIS EXPERIENCE YOU GONNA HAVE. THIS WILL MAKE YOU STRONGER. ABOUT YOUR EXBF IF HE REALLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU HE WILL MAKE A WAY AND ALSO ITS BETTER THAT TO GIVE HIM SOMETIMES TO THINK COZ IF YOU CALL HIM AND STILL MAKE SOME OTHER WAYS OF CONTACTING HIM YOU MIGHT SEND HIM AWAY MORE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
GUYS ARE LIKE THAT THE MORE YOU SHOW YOUR FEELINGS THE MORE THEY ACT WEIRD/CRAZY. I GUESS THEY DONT LIKE TO BE TREATED NICE AND EVRYTHING. THEY LIKE MORE EXCITEMENT. IT MEANS THEY RATHER BE WITH A GIRL THAT GIVE THEM HARD TIME. SO IF I WERE YOU JUST RELAX ENJOY BEING SINGLE. YOU GUYS GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER SO ITS BETTER TO LOOK GOOD EVERY SINGLE DAY. MAKE HIM WONDER...I BET YOU ONE OF THIS DAYS HE WILL BE RUNNING AFTER YOU. TRUST ME
GOOD LUCK
I'm really sorry to hear about this. I know exactly how you feel.
Sometimes when even you love someone with more than your own life, they can just not feel a thing and hurt you. That empty feeling of helplessness hurts more than anyone without experience can imagine.
I am currently going through a 4 year breakup myself and I've been suffering for a month and my GF is not making anything easier. Just know that the suffering will end in time. Unfortunately even though I dont want to believe it, but nothing is forever. It goes against all I've believed in since I was in school, but its true.
What you should do if you haven't already is talk to someone, anyone who understands and will listen. I know that took a huge burden off my chest. Trust me it helps.
I am going to repeat what my friend said to me about my relationship. He said "What you need to do is forgive and forget, but never regret. Let go and end your pain and wish her all the best. In the end, its her loss and one day she will see that. Just remember nothing is forever. Just think of all this as a lesson for your life starting from now on, and just remember all the good times and memories you had, never regret that."
Trust me, I know your pain right now and its so very fresh in my mind, when I was at your stage, I could never think about losing my GF, but now I can think better and know that the right answer of letting go and moving on was always infront of you, you were just too afraid to take it.
Yesterday I went out to eat and got a fortune cookie, the wisdom inside just seemed so appropriate. I think its something everyone should take to heart. It said "Accept something you cannot change, and you will feel better."
In time you will know and accept. I wish you the best of luck.
Its been about a week and we have talked a total of 2 times. I told him to call me because we needed to talk and he said he was going to his best friend shouse in NY so he would call me whenever he got home. Still..nothing. Not one phone call. He called my mom for mother day and when she gave me my phone back he was quiet so i told him we would talk later.
I know how you feel, I'm going thru it right now. Like you this guy for me was my first for everything. My first love.
Keep your mind busy, go out with your friends, and if it's for you no one will take it away. Look at The Notebook..lol...they didnt see each toher for seven years.
My friend went thru something like this too and she told me there wasnt any contact for like 2 months and then once every two weeks.
Now they are happily back together and they value each toher way more than before.
The way i'm hanging out is that if it was truly "real" then he will make something to let me know he cares. If you are crying at home, think....is he crying for me too? if you know he's not then is he really worth it?
Dont call, dont text and avoid him. When you are not clingy he'll know what he lost and he'll start to wonder.
If anything let me know...