Breakup and Getting Back Together
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| Wed, 06-27-2007 - 8:02pm |
Hi, I was seeing a woman for about a year, we had a long distance relationship, we had met on one of those dating sites. Things were real good between us, we were talking about living together, marriage, family, the whole 9 yards.
About a month ago, I went out to see her and things we're a little different as they often are as a relationship goes on but on the day I left, she cried and we were talking about definitely being together. At the time she had things going on, a relative of hers who she was close with was very sick. A few days after I got back she told me that she wanted to take a break from our relationship. I would call still call her but it was totally different, she was very cold towards me. One day, I told her that I do love her and I just want her to be happy above all even if that means me not being a part of her life because I felt as though I was just upsetting her by calling her. She started crying and I told her I didn't wanna give up on us and when I asked her if she wanted to give up she said no. She texted me a few days later and was still very cold. She than e-mailed me a few days later telling me that her relative had passed away. I told her I was there for her and she needed someone to talk to I would listen but didn't call. 2 weeks than passed and she e-mailed me out of the blue again saying she hopes I'm doing ok and telling me what was going on in her life. I told her that looking back I should've been more understanding about things and she went on to say that it's not me, it's her.
I don't know what to make of it all. If she wanted an easy way out, she could've just gone without contacting me but she did but yet when she did contact me, she's still got that coldness towards me like we're strangers basically. I really love her alot but I don't know what to make of it all. Am I holding on to false hope here or is she maybe interested in having a relationship down the road? Any advice anyone could provide me, I would be grateful.

Hi lone,
Sorry you are going through this, it sucks I know. LDR are hard , been there done that. It's hard to really get to know a person in that kind of relationship, because you really don't get to see the person as much as you would if you lived in the same area, so a lot of times you only get to see the good and fun times. You don't pick up on all the quirks and stuff as soon.
It sounds like she has some issues that she needs to work on. No one can tell you if she wants a relationship with you down the road. She is the only one that can do that and it sounds like right now she doesn't even know that herself. And yes she will call you from time to time, because you have been in her life for a year, been there for her... it's hard to let go even if you know its the right thing to do sometimes. She knows she can call you and you will be there.
You have to decide what you want, if you want to wait and for how long before moving on. How long are you willing to wait for something that might never happen? Things happen for a reason, and we don't always know why at the time, but it does become clearer as time goes on. Give her some time to work on her issues, but don't put your own life on hold, if it is meant to be it will be. Good luck
Sassisizz,
Very good advice, I appreciate it. I don't want to put my life on hold but at the same time, I just find it hard letting that go. She tells me that she's going through alot and I do love her but as you said could be waiting for something that is never going to be. I've contemplated so many times, just telling her that I do love her and I want more than anything to spend my life with her, I think about her constantly, and it's killing me not to communicate and talk like we did and I can't do it anymore. The thing that stops me is that she is going through stuff and told me that she needs time and it's not me but her but it's killing me inside, so I don't know if me doing that is the right thing to do.