Breakup Milestones

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Breakup Milestones
5
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 5:57pm

It has been about 2 months now since my ex and I split.... It's been hard, then easy, then kinda hard, then really easy, to hard again. Basically a rollercoaster. For the most part we have both been good about no contact.

Last night I went out to dinner and ran into him at the restaurant w/ him and his friends. It wasn't that hard for me just then but then that night, he sent me a text message at 12:30am that just said "i'm sorry" although I don't know for what?

This afternoon, when I was on a couple of networking websites, I saw his profile saying he was on there for "Friends and Dating". :(

I know this is for the best so why does this still hurt??????

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 7:11pm

Well, unfortunately, it still hurts because it can take as much as half the time you were in the r'ship to get over someone, and if I'm not mistaken, you guys were together for a long time, right? So 2 months isn't much time in the whole scheme of things (although I'm sure it seems like an eternity to you!!!).

Plus, having any contact basically starts the clock over again. Can you block him from texting you (I know my cell phone allows me to do that)? And wean yourself from looking at his online profiles...I know I was obsessed with doing so with my last ex, so what I did was make a commitment to the counselor I was seeing at the time that I wouldn't look for 3 days. Then I'd recommit to another 3 days (or longer when I was ready). I've also done similar things with friends to get past bad habits like that.

Hang in there...if you keep up no contact, it WILL get better in time.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 10:42pm
Why does this still hurt?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 8:45am

I've seen my ex's on-line ads too.....it hurts like hell....how he talks about relationships...finding the right person...etc.......I thought HE was my right person....I thought that he thought that I was his right person.........I don't do it any longer.......to see his eyes in his picture kills me....those eyes looked at me with love, trust...forever....

I don't look anymore.
I do know that he will never find someone like me again.
It is truly his loss.
It hurts me like hell.
But it is his loss.

The same for your ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:57am

It hurts! That is for sure. We broke up because I found his old ads, which he never took down (we dated 11 mths, and they were up during his last relationship) and he had updated them with pictures from my camera. The worst is though, that I was on a site he uses and he was talking to me without knowing it was me. That was the worst; him telling this "woman" that he was involved with a woman awhile back (me!) and how it ended. How he hasn't been really in love in years and won''t be ever. How he still thinks about the "woman" (me) but just keeps on. It stinks. I look at the pictures and wonder why? And he tells people on the site stuff that is completely opposite of what he shares with me. Sometimes I think chat rooms have caused more heartbreak to me than anything!

It has been 1.5 months for me and I am even dating again. Some days it is easy, some days bad. Our situation is exacerbrated because I moved away in Feb and we broke up in April when I went to visit for the 4th time. So we haven't even fought face to face; just email, phone, and IM. What I wouldn't give to just run into him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sun, 05-29-2005 - 6:52am
Hey Malena, it hurts 'cause you're still getting over him - the grief process takes time.