Broke up a few years ago just started thinking about her again

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2007
Broke up a few years ago just started thinking about her again
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 8:10am

I was dating someone a few years back for 11 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I guess I have to wonder why these memories are bothering you so much. You're pretty clear with yourself that you're not attracted to her, are not interested in rekindling a relationship, and are happy where you are now. But when you drive by the parents' house of someone you dated for almost a year, of course it will spark memories. I think that's just how the brain works. So why does it matter if you are reminded of her sometimes, if you aren't conflicted over your feelings? I am not sure how long ago you moved here, but these things take time to fade away and as you get new experiences in the town where you live now, they'll replace old memories of your ex-girlfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Based on how many people experience this same thing you are now when their ex either pops up suddenly or some "anniversary" date rolls around or they pass by a familiar sight, sound, etc, it really is just the brain kicking in, reminding you your memory still works.

It really doesn't mean anythign more than the meaning YOU give to it, so if a memory pops up and you simply acknowledge it for what it is, a distant memory, and your feelings about his person haven't changed, meaning, they still would not be a good match for you, then that's the end of it. But if you try and fight them, try to find out "why" you happen to think of these things again (because you're human, is why), or give them undue importance, THEN that's when they start to grow out of control and you end up second-guessing yourself.

It means nothing. You've grown and are probably now ready for **A** real relationship with someone. Not this person, but someone.

Good luck finding that person in the New Year!

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