Broke it of on VM
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Broke it of on VM
| Thu, 06-08-2006 - 8:24pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and over the past 2 to 3 weeks, I have felt very lonely in the relationship for various reasons. Last night I was planning on going over to his house for a visit and told him I would call him between 8 & 8:30. I called and left a message at 8:30 and told him to call me and I can come over anytime. By 9:10 no call and I had a feeling he was home so I took my mom's car and drove by his house since he doesn't know her car and sure enough he was home and outside talking to a buddy, I was pissed as hell so I called again (he didn't pick up) and didn't leave a message and I didn't want to stop by since I didn't want to seem like a stalker. This was pretty much a slap on the face since he wasn't answering my calls and hanging out with his buddy was more important than me. About 10:15, I called one last time for the "break up call". I was hoping he would answer but again, I got his VM. I said "I was hoping to talk to you about this instead of getting your VM but it seems like you don't want to see me or talk to me since you are not returning my calls and I am trying to make an effort to come by and see you. I don't understand what has happened to us and I am hurt that you don't seem to think this warrants a discussion. I have been lonely in this relationship for the last two weeks and it appears that you and I have different goals in our relationship and we need to separate". I told him that I wish him well and I hope he finds what he is looking for in life and is happy. I was very calm (even though the love I had was pure anger at this point) when I left the message but still feel that I should have told him either in person or when he answered the phone but I felt I had no choice since he wasn't answering his phone. I think I just need some assurance or not that I approached this the right way.

It's kind of difficult to know if you approached it the right way because I'm not sure there is a right way. It if felt right to you, then it's right. If you feel comfortable with what you did, that's all that matters.
The one thing that makes me a bit uneasy is that you say you were with him for 8 months. I sort of wonder what the relationship was like before the last two weeks. What I mean is was everything ok, did you enjoy each other's company until two weeks ago and then you decided to leave because he was being distant? I realize I don't know the whole story, but the way you tell it here it sounds like you broke up with him because he didn't answer the phone one night. And I'm not sure that's reason enough to break up with someone. On the other hand, there's probably more to this story than you're telling.
Having seen "the rest of the story" now, I'd say that even if you did still overreact to the actual incident, meaning, him not calling you back immediately, I'd say it was definitely built up slowly over the past month becuase of how he'd been treating you (last minute phone calls for sex only, not meeting you halfway to come to your house, always on his turf).