Broke up last night
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| Mon, 09-13-2004 - 3:00pm |
I think the fact that I ended it makes it a little less painful than if he had left me, but it still hurts. The fact that he didn't say, "Can't we try again" or "Can't we make it work somehow" really hurts. He just let me walk away. He didn't try to understand what I was feeling and/or thinking. He didn't ask me to sleep on it. He just let me leave.
Since then I have been text messaging him. I know that's not the right thing to do but I keep hoping that somehow he'll turn around and notice me, that if I feel enough pain he'll want to come and rescue me. From past experience though, the more hurt I show the less men want to be near me. So I know I should just stop it. But I can't. I wish he would just call and apologize and tell me everything would be all right and we'll get through this. I just want this pain to end.

Try not to contact him anymore, if you do, then his ego is going to grow even more. He does not deserve any consideration. This experience will help you to be prepared for the next relationship.
Iliana
get your self esteem back as fast as you can! if he really wants you he's gotta prove it now, and when comes around and sees this girl is doing fine w/o him, he will CRAWL back, by them you wont want him!!!
angelina
btw- hurt and pain thru this is normal
time will heal
Don't text message him. I know how hard that is. Do whatever you need to in order to stop. Not because he doesn't deserve it, although he doesn't, but because it's making you feel worse. Worse because he isn't changing his mind and worse because it takes away from your self-respect. Trust yourself. You made the right decision. You are taking control of your future, your life, your happiness. You can be way more successful finding happiness than he was. You did the right thing. Empowerment sometimes sucks, huh?
It's scary, miserable, confusing, and eventually confidence-building this world of post-breakups. I wish I could offer you more comfort, but when I start feeling so low, I remember a line I heard in a movie once ("Someone Like You" I think)
"You will find it again. I promise... He is not the last man you're ever gonna love"
There is one good thing about this: I've known him three months today and we would have had our two month anniversary on Friday. In other words, not very long, not very long at all. I will continue to write to him because deep inside I still have some hope. But if he doesn't respond at all, I will let him go gracefully and move on with my life. It shouldn't take that long to get over a two-month relationship, right?
I think that's when he started to get kind of cold actually. But maybe not, maybe it was before then. Maybe I hesitated on marriage because I sensed his coldness. Yes, that's it. I'm going through this phase where I dissect the relationship to try to figure out what went wrong and when it went wrong and whether there was anything I could have done to prevent it. Are you familiar with this?
It's sort of inevitable for me. But I will get out of this phase eventually. As for texting him, I need to keep doing that for some reason. I still need to feel some connection to him, but I'm not totally off the wall. What I mean is I won't keep doing it for days or weeks on end if I don't hear from him. I foresee continuing to contact him for another week. If I haven't heard a peep from him I will probably stop contacting him or do it less.
I just feel like I need to give him a final chance. We had discussed seeing a therapist before we broke up, but neither one of us ever acted on it. I'm thinking if he would act on that I would be willing to go back.
They aren't happy either, maybe they feel even worse because they failed to make us happy. So not being faced with their failure day after day is a bit of a relief, sucks for us though!
I know that this was something my ex mentioned several times, that he just didn't think he could make me happy. And he probably does feel relief to be rid of me. Only he isn't really rid of me because I keep texting him all day long! What I keep thinking though is maybe we had some misunderstandings, maybe we could work it out if we just went and talked to someone. We're both older, I'm 41, and he's 44, so it's kind of difficult to throw something away that worked on so many levels.