Broke the NC...
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| Thu, 07-12-2007 - 1:18am |
I feel like a fool. Ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago and I've been doing really good on the NC. That was until last week. I was cleaning and I came across a birthday present for him that I had forgotten about. It's one of those things that I couldn't return or take back, so I broke down and called him. He didn't answer, didn't call me back. So I waited a week and called him again yesterday. This time he answered (amazing what blocking your number will do) and I told him that I found something I had forgotten to give to him. He wanted to play 20 questions about what it was and then ended up hanging up on me. I didn't call him back yesterday, but I was pretty ticked off, so I called him again today. Oh, and according to him, he didn't hang up on me, his cell "dropped" the call.
Anyways, he's supposed to call me tomorrow to let me know where I can meet him to give him his stuff. He acted really cold toward me, which irritates me because he acts like he's the one who got hurt. I was the one who ended it, but he's the one who told me he'll "never care about me or love me that way that I want him to. And it's just not with me, it's with anyone." Oh and I also got the line "I don't want a relationship with you because I already know it won't go anywhere. And it's not that I don't like you, I don't want to be in a relationship with anyone." Grr...
So, I'm freaking about seeing him tomorrow. There is something about this guy, when I see him, I melt. And although he was pretty blunt on how he felt, I'm in love with him and I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself and try to get him back. Sorry...just needing a little pep talk. I know he's a jerk and I can do better. The problem is I only want him...

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I know the feeling. My ex and I still chat online, thankfully I've managed to avoid the phone for the last few days even though he's actually called both days. It breaks my heart to hear his voice, but he said the same thing yours did, that he'd never want me like I needed him to. When I broke up, he accused me of being the one to walk away, but it's clear that he's the one that wanted it, and pushed so hard that what else was I to do? So, last night he IM's me and asks about my work, which I saw is fine. Then he says, "I'll take you out for a celebratory dinner when we can be within a mile of each other. You know I miss you terribly." I wanted to cry when I read that, but I know it's him trying to pull me back in so he can emotionally sucker punch me again. You have to stay strong, do what I'm doing, stay cold and a little distant. It's hard, when my ex is cold and distant, I want so much to throw myself at his feet and beg for some kind word. Then when he's kind and warm, I just want to slap him for breaking my heart and pushing me away. I'll tell you what I did. I put a sticker on my phone that says, "Stay strong" and that's what I look at when I feel like I want to call him. I also write everyday about the things that happened in the relationship that really did hurt me, a reminder of why it needed to end. It's actually made it easier, because I'm not focusing on happy thoughts.
Good luck, and when you see him, wear something awesome, look great, and treat him like dirt.
Hi jesskes,
Ok, wait, so seeing him is the only option?
That sounds like a big recipe for disaster. You're getting hooked back in, waiting for his call.
The smartest, safest thing to do would be to email him and say, sorry, I changed my mind, I realized it's not a good idea for me to see you or be in contact with you after all and then just get rid of the gift. Donate it to a worthy cause, anything's better than giving it to this poor excuse for a human being.
Sheri
If you don't want to be with a married man, then don't go see him just to give him a "gift". He's married... You should respect that and leave him alone. Don't use this gift as a last ditch effort to "get him back".
Sell the gift, do something other than give it to him.
This will only end in heartache for you.
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