Broke NC after 40+ days
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| Mon, 01-01-2007 - 6:41pm |
So folks, I did the deed, after 43 days NC.
After battling the urge over the past 2-3 days I was further propelled when I came home last night and saw a missed call from a blocked number who I highly suspected was from him.
Let me explain, the calling card he usually uses comes out as "unknown" on my mobile's caller ID.
So this morning, I caved in after getting the strongest set of nostalgic feelings since my start of NC. Well he didn't answer and I left a message wishing him all the best for the new years and that despite everything I still love him, I am still there for him and that I'd like to start off the new year on good footing.
I haven't heard from him as of yet. Although I am a bit disappointed in my weakness, I am glad I left him a friendly, non threatening message compared to the anxious messages I left previously in which I was wondering where the relationship was going. In retrospect I have realised that those messages may have have added to the stress that he was experiencing.
I may not be a good example to you all but I must stress the importance of the NC because I must admit, it has not only made me stronger but allowed me to examine how I have also contributed to the situation I am now experiencing.
So I am definitely starting over the NC process and wait for him to contact him from now on.

Right now I am feeling a bit low. He hasn't even responded to my New years greeting.
I am tired of this! Not being the cheating kind I am thinking to just send him a text telling him that I will consider his non action as an indication of his lack of interst in the relationship and that i will be moving on from now on.
This was what I considered my first serious relationship. So could you all please advise me from your experiences?
Just my $0.02.
Purdue is right, no response is a response. Rather than emailing him, write him a letter to vent and then burn it. Each time you contact him and he does not respond or does not respond as you expect, then you will feel worse. You can not control this so it is best to let it go.
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
Thinking about it now, I feel so hurt and angry that this person was initially so much into the relationship, pursuing me, constantly being affectionate, telling me how much in love he was with me could just so suddenly change, ignore me like all the 2 years we went through was NOTHING! This guy also treated me like a queen, would always go out of his way and like me call me 12:00 am to make sure he wished me happy birthday the very first minute of my birth day.
It does hurt me DEEPLY to the CORE! I feel used and tossed aside like I was just tissue to him!!
And YES deep down I want him to respond and want to pursue me!
I have started journal writing as of Jan 1 and I would also like to have to seriously consider taking the advice of members of this board to vent on paper and symbolically burnt it.
I was never expecting this kind of treatment and behaviour from him of all people. I NEVER expected this! How can I trust another man again! I really thought he was the ONE!
Your reaction is completely normal, I have most definitely been there myself. However, one of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson says in one of here books that a man that invites a relationship in and then bolts at the first sign he getting what he asked for, is not really ready or mature enough for a relationship. Unfortunately you can not make him be ready for one. If you are to be his wife/GF, you can not be his tutor, mother, or therapist. In this situation, you have to back off and let him realize that he messed up by letting go of you because your reminding him will only harden his resolve that he did the right thing. Back off, take care of you and let him miss you. He may come back around or he may not but either way, you have taken care of yourself and who knows, after some distance you may realize that you really don't want him back. That is what happened with me, when my indecisive BF came back around I realized that he would never be the guy I needed and I turned him down, event though at first, I was standing where you are now.
Take care,
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
hi avamarie2006,
i'm so sorry for what happen...at this point you did what you have to do...(by greeeting him) dont feel bad that you did it cuz i know deep inside that your exbf knows that you already move on cuz you greet him...so it just means that you start to forgive and forget..so for him he doesnt want you to move on...what he want is for you to think that WHY HIS NOT CALLING YOU...JUST ATLEAST TO SAY THANK YOU RIGHT??? THINK ABOUT IT..
cuz for me if a person still have something against someone...i dont think they will be calling and wishing them luck for the new year...right?? are you getting my point??? so now i'm assuming he think that...your doing oky. AND HE DOESNT WANT THAT...HE WANTS YOU TO FEEL BAD CUZ HIS NOT CALLING...
anyways dont call him atleast you did the first move...now what you have to do is to make yourself BUSIER THAT USUAL..
on my experience my ex he likes playing tagging games...it means if i dont call him...he will end up calling me but the weird part if i call him and he will makes plan for him and come visit me...HE WONT SHOW OFF...what a jerk right?? he did that several time...so i got tired of it...so i finally stop calling him....guess what he came to my house last thursday...asking me to be his roommate...i said we both need to think about it first...NOW SINCE THAT DAY HE HAVENT CALL(me too). but i dont really care...i'm already used to him...LOL
well we all learned from our exp. GOOD OR BAD...
GOOD LUCK..
Thank you ALL!
I felt so unbelievably low this morning. I am so grateful for all your advice. I feel so much better now. I am determined more than ever to continue with NC.
The past few days were the most challenging for me to endure. I sooo must move on!!!