broke NC for the last time- traumatized

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
broke NC for the last time- traumatized
17
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 10:33am

Okay, posted the other day about how after we broke up 5 days ago, i broke NC. the convo was brief. i was surprised he answered. he said something about space and time, and when i hung up, i said "you can call me sometime" and he said "i will think about it".


I was pissed at breaking NC, but with new years fast approaching, i feel, well desperate. I keep thinking he will come around by then (i know, stupid stupid)


Yesterday i cried from 4 am to 2 pm, literally. the whole day. and I finally called him. AGAIN. UGH. he answered. he was in the car. he kind of laughed when he heard my voice. more of a sarcastic laugh. i said it was me. he said "i know, i saw that on caller ID". i said, why are you talking that way? he said, why are you calling me? UGHHHHHHHHHH. i said, I am really sorry for calling. I am not proud of it. I am having a hard time going without speaking to you after a year of speaking 10 times a day.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:14am
I feel so bad for you.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:58am

He doesn't hate you--he just knows that having contact with you or giving you any kind of hope is not good for either of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 11:59am

I dont know about the fighting thing- I guess it depends who broke it off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 12:06pm

I understand what you are saying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 12:09pm

Sorry, He is being cold to move on, and you should do the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:10pm

just wanted to clarify, didn't think him not telling his parents meant he was still invested. I thought it

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:18pm

I doubt very much that your behavior since the breakup has anything to do with the way he's acting now.


He probably was behaving the way he was a week before the breakup because he was trying to figure out whether he really wanted to end it, or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:28pm

two books that really helped me through the initial stages of NC were, "It's called a breakup, not a breakdown," and "It's called a breakup because it's broken." You might even get a good laugh because you will recognize your own behavior in these books. Hopefully later on you will be able to draw on these tools when cravings arise (as they have with me) and let yourself calm down before you act on anything.

Again, it's like the itch you can't scratch. If you scratch it, it will only feel good temporarily but then it will itch a whole lot more.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 5:15pm

Hi,


It could be that he wants to move on, and it's hard to talk to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 6:07pm

i can handle the meanness if its because he wants to protect both of us from setting us back in the grieving process, i can't accept it if he is just so over me i make him sick.


i hope that is not the case. i would imagine he wouldn't have cried for days if that was the case.


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