Broke up w/him..Feel lonely
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Broke up w/him..Feel lonely
| Sun, 11-27-2005 - 1:34am |
Hi all.
I will try to make this short. After getting divorced from a 12 year marriage,and having four kids. 14,11,8,7. I met a man who I thought was the guy for me. After dating him for awhile we got engaged. I broke off the engagment and we dated. Then recently I broke up with him. I am 39 he is 46. He doesnt make enough money to support himself let alone all of us. I have paid for alot over the past 3 yrs. He just recently started helping but I had to break off with him last yr for that to happen. He moved to where I live from another state and lives in a trailer at a nice campground. Guess who pd his way up here. Over the past three yrs we were together most of the time I would pay his way. he always said he didnt have a good pay week. I always felt money was no option for me but I cant do it anymore. Even though he does pay now I feel what i would like me and the children to do is limited. Because he will say they dont need this or that. He suggested for Christmas we put the 4 kids name in the hat and we each buy for two from both of us,plus whatever I would get them. If he is around and wants to watch tv at my moms house..because of the divorce i am here for now. He will give the kids a look if they want to watch something. I feel he truly doesnt want the kids around he wants me all to himself. We have had some real good times, i must admit mostly in bed. He is lazy he is happy just watching tv ,not that that is a bad thing but I just feel me and the kids need more. On thanksgiving I promised his dad I would cook him a nice dinner and spend the day there. this was the first Thanksgiving I was away from my family, plus my Dad just passed away in April so it was difficult. But I did it for his Dad. My Xbf did not offer to help me that day. His dad actually got up and dried the dishes after i washed them. He says he loves me and the kids. But I see him sigh or roll his eyes if kids say or do something irratating, they are being kids. His kids are in their 20s. Anyway, after Thanksgiving i told him i dont think I love him and i dont want a relationship right now. Told him I want to be alone and be with the kids and help my mom. Since i was 16 I have always been with someone. Then my x husband walked out with another woman, I met my bf not long after that. I feel i led him on too long and too far. I broke off with him or have tried more than once, he doesnt give up. This time i want to be strong and be able to let go. I feel in my life right now my place is with my children and if i feel he can not be a part of that then I had to say goodbye. So why do i feel so miserable? I hate the fact that i hurt him,hate that i stayed with him so long . Was it really love or just someone who was there to comfort me after my divorce? I just needed to vent and i want to be strong because I know he will not let me go.
so much for making this short. ty for taking the time to read. I wish you all the best. I believe that people come into your life for a purpose, some stay some go.
Peace...
I will try to make this short. After getting divorced from a 12 year marriage,and having four kids. 14,11,8,7. I met a man who I thought was the guy for me. After dating him for awhile we got engaged. I broke off the engagment and we dated. Then recently I broke up with him. I am 39 he is 46. He doesnt make enough money to support himself let alone all of us. I have paid for alot over the past 3 yrs. He just recently started helping but I had to break off with him last yr for that to happen. He moved to where I live from another state and lives in a trailer at a nice campground. Guess who pd his way up here. Over the past three yrs we were together most of the time I would pay his way. he always said he didnt have a good pay week. I always felt money was no option for me but I cant do it anymore. Even though he does pay now I feel what i would like me and the children to do is limited. Because he will say they dont need this or that. He suggested for Christmas we put the 4 kids name in the hat and we each buy for two from both of us,plus whatever I would get them. If he is around and wants to watch tv at my moms house..because of the divorce i am here for now. He will give the kids a look if they want to watch something. I feel he truly doesnt want the kids around he wants me all to himself. We have had some real good times, i must admit mostly in bed. He is lazy he is happy just watching tv ,not that that is a bad thing but I just feel me and the kids need more. On thanksgiving I promised his dad I would cook him a nice dinner and spend the day there. this was the first Thanksgiving I was away from my family, plus my Dad just passed away in April so it was difficult. But I did it for his Dad. My Xbf did not offer to help me that day. His dad actually got up and dried the dishes after i washed them. He says he loves me and the kids. But I see him sigh or roll his eyes if kids say or do something irratating, they are being kids. His kids are in their 20s. Anyway, after Thanksgiving i told him i dont think I love him and i dont want a relationship right now. Told him I want to be alone and be with the kids and help my mom. Since i was 16 I have always been with someone. Then my x husband walked out with another woman, I met my bf not long after that. I feel i led him on too long and too far. I broke off with him or have tried more than once, he doesnt give up. This time i want to be strong and be able to let go. I feel in my life right now my place is with my children and if i feel he can not be a part of that then I had to say goodbye. So why do i feel so miserable? I hate the fact that i hurt him,hate that i stayed with him so long . Was it really love or just someone who was there to comfort me after my divorce? I just needed to vent and i want to be strong because I know he will not let me go.
so much for making this short. ty for taking the time to read. I wish you all the best. I believe that people come into your life for a purpose, some stay some go.
Peace...

It sounds like you made a good decision for you and your children. Of course you feel lonely, that's normal. But you had good reasons for breaking up with him...make a list of the reasons and keep it handy (putting them on index cards, one reason per card, works well so you can see that there's a stack of reasons...I'll bring up the post on thought-stopping that has more details about this technique for you).
Yes, he will not willingly let go of the gravy train, so you will have to be strong. Keep posting here and let us know how you are doing and for support in not allowing him to contact you.
Sheri