Broke up w/my boyfriend :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Broke up w/my boyfriend :-(
9
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 8:35pm

Hello ladies,

I don't know where to start. My ex and I decided to be together again after a 2 year break. The first time around I felt like I was too young and immature to be in a serious relationship and very heavy into the party scene and just having a good time. He was a lot more mature..I was 23 and he was 27 the first time around we dated. He's very stable and always wanted to provide me with a secure relationship. While I wanted to just date and talk to different guys and then decided to get back together with my 1st ex from when i was younger b/c he enjoyed partying like me. It really hurt him but for some reason he still loved me and wanted to be w/me. I told him that we couldnt be together. Fast forward to the 2nd time around we decided to be together I told him I was ready to be in adult relationship. I gave him everything I loved him so much. I even gave him access to my facebook, phone records, and email b/c he said it was the only way he could trust me. 6 months into the relationship i felt like this were going so well between us but i stated my concern that we werent building a strong foundation for our future together b/c he didnt actually have any trust in me he only trusted that I wasnt w/any other men b/c he had access to all my info so I changed all my passwords. As you can imagine since that time everything started falling apart little by little...it's been 4 months since I changed my passwords hoping that giving him time to see that nothing has changed and that he could learn to trust me over time but of course that was not what happened. Our future plans of being together forever were practically non-existant. He even stopped kissing me on my mouth b/c he said that he didn't know what I was doing and started using condoms. I ended up breaking up with him 3 weeks ago b/c i told him that if he couldnt be w/me w/o having access to all my info if he didnt even want to put in the effort and he said he didnt want to change his mind and there's no way he would ever trust me. When I met him I really felt like he was the man for me...I feel like he's my soulmate and he said I was his. I'm so sad right now. I don't know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 11:41pm

First of all, let me say that I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now in your relationship.

Saying this, when a couple gets back together after some time has passed, there are two things to consider that can make this more difficult. When you were first together I'm assuming that you liked the person he was at the time, but wasn't ready for that sort of relationship. That's how it sounded. Well, because it has been two years, he has probably changed in many ways, as have you most likely. Another is that, any problems that you had then weren't necessarily going to be

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 4:06pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 11:53pm

First of all, what I do know is that this board is for support and advice, where we

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 10:17am

Well I never thought that I needed to be aware of everything in her private life. I just need to be aware of anything that affects my life. My intent wasn’t to make her look like a villain, it was to state the full story so she understood the reason for the conclusion. People love to

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 10-27-2010 - 1:27pm

We only ever get one side of a story and have to try to fill in the blanks, so surprising as your response is, it's good to see the other side of it.

I wanted to make a suggestion to both of you

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 2:00pm

Hello,

Thank you for your opinions and advice. Although I don't agree with everything my ex said is the truth, more like his truth but It doesn't matter now. I gave my best the second time we dated but it

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2007
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 10:02pm

I feel for you entirely and I came here for the same reason. Maybe you can feel better knowing that theres someone far out there (Florida), who is going through the same thing.

The hardest part is understanding how someone that supposedly loved you, ends up disguarding you like yesterdays news paper. Its been over a month, I feel horrible still.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Mon, 11-01-2010 - 4:56pm

Aw I'm sry u still

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2010
Mon, 11-01-2010 - 8:34pm

Ok, so I'm happy to report: I actually feel good again! :smileywink: